What I never did for you
by never-to-see
Summary: Growing up Sherlock had been a wayward child, one day his father becomes sick of Sherlocks refusal to do as he's told. Mycroft realises that protecting his brother isn't easy when he wont help himself. John had always suspected something.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, this isn't my first fic, or even my first Sherlock fic, but it's my first that I've posted on here and the first that has attempted to deal with the brother's childhood. Somehow hearing Sherlock say he'd never begged for mercy spawned this whole plot inside my head and it just wouldn't leave no matter how much I know I haven't got the time to start up a new story. As this is a new story I'm not sure if it will be continued or not, but if it is you can probably expect jumps to the present and to the past and most likely eventual slash as all my fics seem to devolve into that. But for now please enjoy the story, I know that there are a lot of fics like this floating around but if it wont leave me alone I may as well share it. **

**Warning: Child abuse throughout, possible warnings for starvation/neglect, self harm, drug use and slash in later chapters if continued. If you think you are going to be triggered by any of this please don't read it for your own safety, thank you. **

Sherlock had, for as long as Mycroft could remember, been a law unto himself. Sherlock had been a wayward child, something which, as he'd been constantly reminded, was not becoming of a person of his stature. His mother had placidly tried to convince his father that he would grow out of it. But on the day that Sherlock turned up for dinner late with his clothes a mess and informed his fathers most important dinner guest that it wasn't healthy for a man his size to be eating so much, their father declared that enough was enough and decided to take the managing of Sherlock's behaviour into his own hands. Quite literally.

That night, after his father had made profuse apologies for his son's behaviour, he had called Sherlock down to the living room. Mycroft was studying for his physics exam, whilst his mother was curled up on the chair next to him reading a romantic novel of some sort. Sherlock had scampered into the room and stood in front of his father, five years old in a tiny little suit that was now in tatters from having been subjected to Sherlock's adventurous 'curiosity'. Mycroft looked over to see his father stand up and stare down at Sherlock, who looked up at him and fidgeted with his fingers.

"Stop that." His father commanded quietly, although Mycroft detected the repressed anger in his voice. Sherlock dropped his hands to his sides and looked down at the carpet. "Stand up properly, you're not a commoner" his father ordered again, Sherlock obeyed, although Mycroft detected a hint of defiance in the set of his shoulders, Mycroft wondered if Sherlock was ever going to lose his errant disregard for authority or if it would stick with his younger brother forever. After a time of silence, their father spoke up again.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asked, far too calm for Mycroft's liking.

"I was just…" Sherlock started, but his father cut him off.

"First you disobeyed a direct order to remain _inside_ the house until dinner. Then you turned up late and _insulted_ one of the most important men in the country. Do you have any idea how much embarrassment you have caused me tonight?" Mycroft looked up when his father raised his voice, Sherlock was fidgeting again.

"I'm sorry sir" he replied quietly.

"No Sherlock, you are NOT sorry, because you have proven to me time and time again that you will not BEHAVE. It is time this behaviour stopped Sherlock and god forgive me, no matter what it takes YOU WILL LEARN!" Mycroft's eyes were wide; he had never heard his father sound so angry. Sherlock had shrunk back slightly and he looked terrified. Mycroft felt something heavy settle in the bottom of his stomach and swallowed.

"Father, maybe-" he stared but never got to finish.

"Go to bed Mycroft." His father commanded icily.

"But-"

"Just get out of here" Mycroft looked to his mother who had closed her novel and picked up Mycroft's books.

"Come sweetheart, your father needs to speak to Sherlock alone." She said softly with a small smile. Mycroft picked up his books and made his way to the door, the last thing he saw before he closed it were his five-year-old brothers' terrified eyes staring at him, silently begging him not to go. Mycroft looked away and closed the door.

An hour later Sherlock had crept into the bedroom and shuffled into bed. Mycroft assumed that Sherlock had thought he was sleeping, and wasn't really surprised when he could make out the sounds of his younger brothers muffled sobs.

"Sherlock, are you okay?" Mycroft asked quietly. Sherlock gasped and didn't make any sound for a few seconds before exhaling quietly.

"I'm fine Mycroft" he sounded wary and tired and his voice broke a little when he spoke his brother's name. Mycroft could make out Sherlock sat on the bed and climbed out of his bed to go and sit opposite to him in the dark.

"What happened?" he asked again, noting the slight hitches in his brother's breathing.

"He just…taught me a lesson" Sherlock replied quietly. Mycroft took in his brothers defeated tone and defensive posture and sighed.

"Did… Sherlock did he…" Mycroft had never had difficulty voicing his thought before, but this was a situation he was new to and he didn't know quite what to say. He took a breath "Did father hurt you Sherlock?" the silence that stretched between them was heavy and made Mycroft feel a little sick. When Sherlock spoke, he said something which Mycroft would remember for the rest of his life.

"Why did you leave me?" he asked in a tiny tear filled voice. Mycroft suddenly felt like crying.

"What did he do Sherlock?" he replied quietly. Sherlock just whimpered and then Mycroft's arms were filled with a small bundle of five year old Sherlock who had clambered into his lap and buried himself into his brother's hold. Mycroft could feel where his brother's tears soaked through his shirt and he held on tightly. He decided that if this happened again, he would do all he could to prevent it. Of course, Mycroft didn't know at this point that things would never be that simple.

A/n: Reviews would make me happy, please let me know if I should continue and concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work the please refrain from commenting, but letting me know any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Firstly, this fic has had the best response that any of my fics ever has, and I can only say thank you so much for that! I've responded to all your comments individually at the bottom of the post but thank you for the support and the advice, I can assure you nothing is more valuable to me as a writer. Anyway, this one is up early as all of your wonderful comments prompted me into writing some more so, here it is, hope you enjoy : )**

**Warnings: (See first chapter for a list of all warnings) Overall Child abuse, warnings for drug use in this chapter.**

**This chapter is set in present time, just for reference.**

Chapter 2

John sighed as Sherlock stormed away, coat billowing out behind him. He could never quite understand why Sherlock and Mycroft didn't get on, he knew sibling rivalry but this was something completely different. He lingered, unsure whether to follow after Sherlock or wait for further instruction from Mycroft who was staring after his brother somewhat sadly.

"He never did do what he was told, even if it could have done him a world of good." He commented absent-mindedly, before shaking himself slightly and smiling at John, "Well, you best be on your way, no telling what he'll be up to next" Mycroft turned and walked away with a shout of "Look after him John, god knows he can't look after himself" before disappearing.

"Brilliant, just, bloody fantastic. Where am I?" John muttered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. He'd been abandoned in a warehouse in the middle of London by _two_ Holmes's in less than half an hour; John didn't know why he was surprised.

When he finally had made his way back to Baker Street, (having been miles away from any road suitable for catching a cab, and soaking wet from being caught in a sudden downpour) John found Sherlock sulking on the sofa, back turned on the rest of the room. He stopped in the doorway to observe his flatmate for a minute, before shaking his head with a sigh and entering the room.

"So, do you know who did it?" He asked, sitting down in his chair and picking up the paper. Sherlock made a sound of contempt.

"It was the Gardener, did you not see her fingernails?" he snapped back before pulling his dressing gown tighter around himself and curling in a little. John just stared at his back before returning to his newspaper. The flat remained silent, aside from the ticking of the clock and the occasional rustling from John turning a page. When John had finished, he placed the paper next to him on the table and looked around the room. He was used to the slightly awkward silences that came from living with Sherlock and was thankful that, for once, he wasn't taking his apparent frustration out on the furniture. John had given up trying to work out what Sherlock was thinking about a long time ago and instead just waited for the man to volunteer the information himself as he eventually always did. The waiting however, was John's least favourite part. It made him impatient, which caused his thoughts to race. He often found his thoughts turned to Sherlock; occasionally John contemplated what Sherlock had been like as a child. John wondered just how much his parents had suffered bringing him up, because he struggled enough as it was, and couldn't imagine the difficulties that came with raising a child like Sherlock. More often than not though, John's contemplations turned to what possibly could have happened to make Sherlock resent Mycroft so much. He would never admit to thinking this of course, but he couldn't help wondering if Sherlock had experienced some kind of traumatic event in his childhood that had resulted in his apparent disregard for everything. Maybe he had witnessed a murder or something, and he had been so affected by it that he took on the career of a 'consulting detective' in order to bring justice to the world? John shook his head; he was making it sound like Sherlock shared a back story with some kind of comic book hero. His thoughts were interrupted when Sherlock sat to face him and stared intently. John looked around before raising his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked, sounding confused. Sherlock stared for a while longer before speaking.

"You've been wanting to ask me a question since you walked through the door." He stated indifferently. John looked around, trying to find a focal point before settling on locking eyes with Sherlock.

"What did he do?" John asked somewhat nervously; well aware of Sherlock's hatred of personal questions. Sherlock didn't react in any way, John wasn't surprised.

"I'm not sure I know of whom you're referring to" he stated calmly. John sighed, he knew that Sherlock knew _exactly _who he was talking about, but he was willing to play this game if it got him some answers.

"Mycroft, Sherlock. What did he do to make you hate him so much?" Sherlock looked away, making John slightly suspicious.

"I don't _hate_ him. I just think him a coward and hold him in contempt for that fact. Besides, I doubt you'd understand anyway." Sherlock stood up and John sighed.

"Have you always been like this?" he asked, feeling a little exasperated. Sherlock looked at him

"Like what?" John got sick of Sherlock's avoidance of his questions sometimes.

"So bloody contemptuous towards everyone? Having a blatant disregard for yourself and other people? Some people do _care_ about you, you know." Sherlock looked mildly affronted, (John had begun to think this conversation wasn't affecting him at all.)

"I would suppose I have always been this way. Although, I'm not entirely sure about my earliest years, so why don't you go and ask _Mycroft_ considering you two are friends all of a sudden? Better yet ask my _Father,_ as I'm sure he'd be _glad_ to inform you of just what type of child I was. As for caring about me, certain people have claimed to, from whom I've witnessed no _proof_. Besides, those who claim to know me should know better, and should be made aware that the sentiment is neither appreciated nor reciprocated!" it was only after Sherlock had stormed out and Mrs Hudson had appeared, looking all flustered and asking if he was okay, (she'd put the tea on, but _only this once_. She wasn't their housekeeper after all) that John realised he'd struck a nerve.

Not for the first time since he'd met Sherlock, John didn't know what to do.

It had been three hours and Sherlock hadn't returned. At first, John hadn't been too bothered. He was too busy processing what Sherlock had said, and trying to work out what possible significance it could have, to notice his flatmates absence. However as time had gone on John had become worried about Sherlock, he knew what kind of trouble Sherlock was liable to get himself into, especially when he felt particularly reckless. John had debated going and looking for him, but had decided it wasn't worth it when he realised that if Sherlock didn't want to be found, there was no way John was ever going to find him. As such, John had resigned himself to watching the TV until Sherlock returned.

It was sometime later (somewhere between the Buffy reruns and some scary French film that he didn't understand) that John eventually heard footsteps on the stairs. He was immediately alerted to the fact that whoever was on the stairs had very uneven footsteps. John's first conclusion was that the person on the stairs was not Sherlock, the detective never made this much noise when it wasn't required. Of course, this meant it wasn't necessarily anyone who was trying to harm him, and if it was he had little to worry about because they clearly weren't skilled enough to refrain from giving him warning. John reached for his gun as whoever it was reached the top of the stairs.

The door opened to reveal Sherlock, looking slightly dishevelled and swaying on his feet. John automatically went over to him, his instincts telling him that Sherlock was hurt, there was no other reason Sherlock would be swaying like that.

"Sherlock, are you okay? What happened?" John questioned, trying to establish what was wrong. Sherlock didn't answer, he just mumbled away to himself as he had been since he opened the door. John could only catch small parts of what he was saying; most of it was nonsense anyway.

"Didn't…never…wasn't me…stubborn….insolent…learn, learn, need to…never learn…" Sherlock's fingers slipped from the door handle, which had apparently been the only thing holding him up. John caught him and managed to get him to sit on the couch.

"What is it, what's wrong?" John asked again, starting to worry. He had never seen Sherlock in this state before, looking so lost and wild. He'd never- John stopped and held Sherlock's head still, his eyes were darting around the room but John still noticed. His pupils were blown wide, turning his eyes almost black. John knew, hell everybody knew that Sherlock indulged in a drug habit from time to time, but witnessing it firsthand was something entirely different. Sherlock wasn't himself, there was nothing composed or calm about the man sat in front of him, instead he looked scared, almost childlike, and John swallowed heavily.

"Sherlock, can you hear me?" John didn't know what Sherlock's drug of choice was, he didn't even know if he had a specific one. If he was going to help he needed to find out what Sherlock had taken. He wasn't worried too much about Sherlock having taken too much, he doubted the man would've made it back here if he had, but John knew he'd feel more in control of the situation if he just knew _something_.

"Sherlock, I need to know what you've taken. Can you tell me that?" John decided that the best thing to do would be to treat Sherlock like any other patient.

"Learn…need to…so stupid…" Sherlock muttered. John sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. It was obvious that he wasn't going to get anything out of Sherlock tonight; he was too far gone for anything John said to register in his mind.

"Right, come on, let's get you to bed." He managed, somewhat miraculously, to get Sherlock into his room and, after removing his coat and shoes, into bed. Sherlock was still muttering to himself, but when John made to leave the room Sherlock whispered

"John?" John looked over to see Sherlock was half asleep already.

"It's okay Sherlock, you're safe now. Go to sleep, we'll talk in the morning." Sherlock sighed softly.

"M'sorry" he mumbled. John smiled.

"Night Sherlock" He replied before shutting the door. When back in the living room John picked up his phone and sent a text.

_Sherlock just got back, high as a kite. Any ideas on what to do?_

_- JW_

A few seconds later his phone beeped, signalling a new message.

_Is he alright?_

_-MH_

John sighed. It was just like Mycroft to ignore his question.

_Health wise, he should be fine in the morning, he's sleeping now. Mentally, I have no idea._

_-JW_

John was in bed by the time Mycroft replied.

_Just look after him. My brother often needs protecting from himself more than from any enemy. Thank you for dealing with him, I will have words with him about this._

_-MH_

John didn't know why Sherlock had so much contempt for Mycroft, but he did know that despite the icy façade, Mycroft Holmes was just like any other older brother. He worried.

Sometimes, John thought, Sherlock was the most oblivious person in the world.

**A/N: **Reviews would make me happy, and concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work the please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you

**Review responses**

**Anonymous reviewers:** Thank you, I kind of wanted to explore the dynamics behind their relationship and why they come across that way : )

**Tadpole11:** Thank you, I'm glad you approve of my writing : ) Admittedly, I agree that the BBC probably didn't have this kind of thing in mind for them in their childhood, however the plot bunny would not leave me alone, and as a writer I'm totally taking creative licence on this one : ) besides its always fun to theorize. As for the slash, oddly I'm not a massive fan of it myself despite the fact that most my fics tend to go that way. I only warned for it as I know it offends some people but at the moment I honestly don't see it featuring much or even at all in this fic. I don't think it's necessary in this circumstance. As for Mycroft, well, you'll see : ) but I get the feeling he's so protective of Sherlock because of some sort of guilt or something, and now he has the power to do something he will to try to make up for that in his own little way. Of course, this must of come from somewhere which I am going to explore and exploit to the fullest of my ability : )

**Waterbaby84:** I will try to the best of my ability, thank you for considering it good enough to be continued : )

**BloodyRosie**: Me too *sigh* the thing is though, no matter how much it pains me I adore causing pain to my favourite characters. The fact that so little is known about Sherlock's past makes it so intriguing that I just had to write something, and with Sherlock being the way he is I have the basis for a story like this which to me is just irresistible. Mycroft definitely is a good big brother, whether Sherlock approves or not : ) thank you for reviewing : )

**Miles2GoBe4ISleep:** Can I just say I love your username? Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening is my all time favourite poem, despite it being so different to most of the poetry I read/write : ) Thank you for reviewing, its always nice to know that people are enjoying your work : )

**Christy:** Wow, I can honestly say that I have never had such a detailed review in my entire life, thank you so much! I like to try to make my characters as accurate as possible because sadly, they don't belong to me and that means keeping some respect for the people who invented them. I'll admit that my punctuation is definitely not the best, I tend to get carried away in what I'm writing and unfortunately my punctuation just cant keep up with me : ) I am in the process of looking for a beta so hopefully I can get that sorted as editing my own work is not something I find easily. Also, writing dialogue is quite possibly one of my weakest points when it comes to writing. However it can only improve and I will focus more on that so hopefully it will get better. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it more that people just tell me than hang back for fear of offending me as it does help me to improve, and as a writer this type of advice is invaluable. Thank you for taking the time to come up with a comment that is so thorough : )

**Bookwormiie:** Oddly enough, I'm not that greater fan of it myself, I only warned in case it does happen at some point as I don't really know exactly where I'm taking this story at the minute. However, the way I see it, even if it does feature it will only be in a very small amount, probably the type where it's slash, but only if you squint and tilt your head sideways a bit : ) thank you for reviewing : )

**KATIE:** Unfortunately the sadness will continue for some time : ( I'm so mean to my characters *apologises* thank you for reviewing : )


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Wow, you guys are amazing! You have no idea how much encouragement seeing how many comments I have gives me! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, even if it's just to let me know you're reading. You guys are fantastic! As per, I've put a reply to all of your comments individually at the bottom, thank you so much!**

**Warnings: This chapter contains graphic, violent child abuse. I kind of hate myself for writing this, but it was necessary to the story so… I hope you enjoy?**

Chapter 3

The first time Mycroft witnessed his fathers rage, he had been 6 years old. His mother had been pregnant at the time and Mycroft's seventh birthday was fast approaching. He had been assured by his parents several times that the baby would not be born on his birthday, but in fact some time after, so he needn't worry about his birthday plans being interrupted.

Mycroft remembered being stood next to his mother, who had been resting in her armchair, arm outstretched with his small palm pressed against his mother's protruding stomach.

"There, did you feel that?" she had asked, smiling down at him. Mycroft felt the small kick against his hand and his eyes widened slightly.

"Does it hurt?" he inquired curiously, his mother laughed softly.

"Sometimes, if he doesn't stop for a while, but he doesn't mean to." Mycroft thought for a minute before looking back up at his mother.

"Can he hear me?" Mrs Holmes smiled again.

"Yes, if you're close enough. But speak quietly, he's only little" Mycroft bit his lip, looking back and forth between his mothers face and her stomach, where his hand still rested. He looked at her encouraging smile before stepping forward hesitantly and kneeling, so he was eye level with her stomach. He took a deep breath before leaning in.

"Mummy says you can hear me, I don't know how clever you are yet, but Mummy is very clever so I think she is right. I wanted to ask you to please not hurt Mummy, she is a very special Mummy and I think you will like her a lot, so please don't hurt her. Also please don't come on my birthday, it's _my _birthday and I want it to be special, but also you need your own birthday that is different to everyone else's. I hope you are very clever so we can talk a lot, everybody say that I am very clever, all the older people think its funny, but it gets quite lonely sometimes. If you are clever we can talk about particle physics and politics, I think you'll like those. If you're not clever, I'll love you anyway because Mummy says that's important, but I'd much prefer it if you were. I'm looking forward to meeting you." Mycroft felt his mother's hand on his hair and looked up to see her smiling down at him.

"I'm sure he'll love you very much" she told him softly, and Mycroft felt proud and a little excited at the thought.

The moment was broken when the door opened with a crash, causing Mycroft to jump. His father stood in the doorway with a bottle in his hand and his face bright red. Mycroft noticed that his father's usually impeccable suit was looking rather dishevelled.

"Stop analysing me _boy_" his father sneered, it was not a look he usually associated with his father.

"James, dear-" his mother began in a voice that was attempting to be calming but had an undertone of nervousness about it. She was interrupted by the sound of a bottle smashing against the wall.

"Don't you 'James, dear' me! He needs to learn some respect, or god help me one of these days I'll beat it into him!" Mycroft, at the age of six, was already a fine example of a 'perfect little gentleman' as his mother called it. He knew exactly how to behave according to the rules of etiquette, and was respectful to everyone he met (even if he could note several different reasons why they were undeserving of his respect). He was about to explain this to his father, when his mother gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you go up to your room for a little while dear?" she asked, with the same nervous smile he'd see on her face some years later.

"Yes mother" he'd replied, not wanting to upset her, and made to leave the room. His father caught him by the collar just before he got through the door and dragged him back, glaring down at him. For one of the first times in his short life, Mycroft felt scared.

"If you ever disrespect me in any way _boy_, you will not live to carry on the family name. You should be _proud_ of your heritage, as I am, and I _will not_ tolerate any disrespect from anyone, let alone my own son. Do you _understand_ me?" Mycroft took a deep breath and stopped himself from shaking.

"Yes father" he replied quietly, eyes on the floor.

"Good, now _get out of my sight_" Mycroft was all too happy to run off upstairs and curl up on his bed. He wouldn't realise until sometime later just how lucky he'd been on that night.

Seven years later, when Mycroft was fourteen and Sherlock only half his age, Mycroft witnessed for the first time what could've happened to him that night.

He had been sat in the living room once again, his mother was sewing something by the fireplace and he was playing a game of solitaire near the window. Mycroft didn't know where Sherlock had gone, he was fairly sure that he wasn't in the house as he hadn't heard any sounds of destruction. However, the manor was a very old, large building with many rooms, some, he supposed, would be far enough away for the sounds of Sherlock's presence to not reach his ears. It was more likely then, that Sherlock was somewhere in the grounds. It was a nice day after all, and his brother liked to climb the trees and steal fruit from the orchard, or explore the forest out the back. He'd once discovered a small stream with a number of tiny waterfalls that Mycroft wasn't aware even existed. He was surprised then, when the door slammed open and his father stormed in dragging Sherlock along by his arm.

"…ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU HAVE CAUSED?" Mycroft watched, frozen in place as his father pinned his younger brother (Mycroft was reminded now, just how much younger and smaller Sherlock was) to the wall by his shoulders. Sherlock's feet were off the floor, and even if they weren't, he wasn't in any position to defend himself. Their father was a strong man with a heavy build, whereas Sherlock was undeniably tiny in comparison. Mycroft's stomach turned.

He heard the slap, rather than saw it. A loud crack that echoed around the small room, Sherlock's head turned to the side with tears already springing to life in his eyes. The fact that he hadn't made any noise just served as a reminder to Mycroft that his brother was somewhat _used_ to this. He felt sick as he remembered the injuries he had seen marring his pale skin. The black eye and split lip on the first night were just a small foreshadowing of what was to follow.

"WELL?" his father demanded, bringing Sherlock's body forward off the wall, only to slam him back into it with alarming force.

"I'm sorry" Sherlock replied, Mycroft could hear the desperation in his voice, and saw his father tense at the words.

He didn't see his father throw him, but suddenly Sherlock was on the floor at the opposite end of the room. Mycroft stood up out of his char, but his mother put a hand on his arm.

"Don't" she whispered.

"But, he just-" he was cut off by his mothers stare.

"It's his lesson, Mycroft, not yours. Don't involve yourself when it isn't necessary. I know it's hard, but he needs to learn." Mycroft felt his breath catch in his throat when he heard the unmistakable sound of flesh hitting flesh (punctuated by his father's shouting and Sherlock's tiny whimpers of pain) but was unable to tear his eyes away from his mother's.

"But you can't just-" he started incredulously, but again his mother cut him off.

"Mycroft, please. I don't need both of you to be hurt" Mycroft swallowed, and sat down slowly, trying to stop his hands shaking.

He looked over to see his brother curled up on the floor, his father placing random kicks all over his tiny body. He couldn't help thinking _god he's so small, how can he do that?_ Mixed up with _why not me? That should be me not him_. His protective instincts were screaming at him to _do something!_ But Mycroft didn't know what he could do.

"GET UP, NOW!" his father commanded, Sherlock stayed where he was on the floor, whimpering to himself. "I SAID GET UP!" he shouted again. When Sherlock didn't respond, his father growled and pulled the boy up by his hair, Sherlock let out a yell. Mycroft was shaking now; he didn't know what to do. He was used to being able to solve all kinds of problems, but now, even though he was facing a problem which had a quite obvious solution, he didn't move. He was suddenly aware that Sherlock was speaking.

"Please, please stop. I'm sorry father, please. You're hurting me. Stop, stop _please stop_, I'll be good I promise, _please_." Mycroft heard his father hit Sherlock again, heard his brother's tears turn into sobbing. His thoughts raced inside his head, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to help, and he couldn't make his father _stop_. So Mycroft did the only thing he could think of. He ran out of the room and upstairs, slamming the door shut.

The next day, when the family doctor was tending to his younger brothers broken bones, Mycroft sat next to him and cried.

**A/N: oh my god, I can't believe I just wrote that. I'm so sorry Sherlock : (**

**A/N: Reviews would make me happy, and concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work the please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**fullmetaldevil: **Well here you go : ) and thank you for commenting, I'm hoping this lived up to your expectations.

**Tadpole11: **Thank you! What an amazing comment! Something I worry most about is getting down the level of emotion in my head onto paper, whether I can get it across in my characters without making them OOC. I'm glad it's working : ) Sometimes I have trouble working out if Sherlock is oblivious to it, or if he just wants to ignore it so doesn't acknowledge it. Who knows? Thank you for your kind words : )

**Tara:** thank you so much : ) when I decided to start writing I thought people would find it too similar to other fics of this kind and not care too much for it, but it's so brilliant to hear someone say they adore it, wow. Thank you : )

**HopeCoppice:** Thank you : ) it's nice to know (if not a little daunting) that people are wanting me to carry on, I hope this lived up to your expectations : )

**Miles2GoBe4ISleep: **I'm trying to sort of integrate past and present so its easier to see the effect it has on the characters (it also makes it easier for me to write because I'm not great at picking up right where I left off.) I'm glad I put John in too, he may be vital in later chapters if my story plan stays the way it is : ) Also I agree about Sherlock, its one of the reasons I wanted to wrote this so much, he's just too intriguing not to be written about : ) Thank you : )

**DressLikeYerCrazy: **Me too! (obviously :D) My mum thinks its 'natural' but I just can't help but read more into it. There _has_ to be some kind of back story involving a betrayal of some kind on Mycroft's part, because you can see he cares so much when Sherlock resents that (or him.) Also, I can't tell you how much saying this was the best abuse fic you've read means to me. Thank you so much for that, I can't even, just wow :D

**BloodyRosie: **Thank you, I enjoyed writing the last chapter : ) I hope this one lives up to your expectations! : )


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: You guys are amazing! I'm not the type of person who checks my emails regularly *shame* but I logged in the other day to find hundreds of emails from . After spending some time reading through them all it turns out that some insane amount of people that I didn't even know were reading this story have added this to their alerts and favourites. That's not to mention the wonderful reviews I have already. I cannot thank you enough! I didn't expect to have such a massive response, I expected maybe 10 reviews at this point and a few people having read it but _this_ is astounding, its more than I ever could've hoped for so thank you so so much : ) As per usual I've replied to all your comments individually at the bottom. **

**Also, I worry that Sherlock and Mycroft may be a little OOC in this chapter. I tried to keep it as in character as I could, but it was quite difficult. This chapter picks up in present day : )**

**Warnings: Discussion of drug use/Child abuse and other harmful behaviours. Angst ahaead!**

When Sherlock woke up in the morning he was confused. He didn't remember ever making it back to 221B, let alone getting into bed. In fact the last thing he remembered was being in the park, pressing the needle in and feeling _relief_. The dread manifested a few seconds later.

If he had been in the park when he dosed up, then it would've taken him approximately 30 minutes to get back, allowing extra time for the lack of coordination he would've been experiencing. He knew full well he'd taken enough to get himself through at _least_ two hours. It would be highly likely to assume that, if he had made it back here and been alone, then he would've woken up on the sofa. This left only one option as to just how he ended up in bed. _John_. Sherlock suddenly felt sick, and it was nothing to do with the mild hangover he was experiencing. The idea that John had waited up for him to get back, to make sure he was _okay_ made his chest hurt a little. But worse than that, was the thought that John had waited up, only for Sherlock to come back in some drug induced stupor and probably scare him half to death. Sherlock suddenly felt slightly ashamed of himself, he knew from experience that running away from your problems doesn't solve them, hiding away and trying to escape doesn't either. No, instead it causes so many problems, it makes people give up on you and leave. The thought of John _leaving_ was something Sherlock didn't even want to consider.

His train of thought snaps when he hears the sound of his brother's voice resonating through the door. He knew that John would be up already, he rarely slept in past nine if he could help it, and so he couldn't help but wonder what they were doing. Realising that he'd have to go down, and unwilling to let his brother see him in this state, Sherlock got dressed whilst undergoing his mental preparation for the day. Every morning the walls went up before he opened that door, by the time he made it out of the room, all the traces of shame and fear would be gone.

….

"Mycroft, to what do we owe this pleasure?" Sherlock asked with a sarcastic smile as he entered the room.

"Oh, I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions" came the expected reply. How dull. Sherlock cast a glance to John who was sat in his chair, mug of tea clasped in both hands. He looked like he hadn't slept, and Sherlock felt a tiny surge of guilt before pressing it back down. John looked uncomfortable, which was hardly surprising as very few people were comfortable when Mycroft was around, but there was something else too. John looked worried, but slightly…_guilty_. Sherlock looked back to his brother. Oh.

"I can hardly think of anything that holds enough importance for a personal visit. Has somebody died?" Mycroft smiled that little smile of his that he'd adopted after he went away to university. Sherlock didn't know the origin of the smile, but he knew quite well what it meant by now.

"I do believe that you had a little, ah, shall we say, _trouble_ last night." Sometimes, Sherlock thought, it would be nice if his brother just said what he meant. The quicker Mycroft got to the point, the sooner he could leave.

"John called, I assume" John had been silent up until now, he looked up at Sherlock.

"I was worried, what did you expect me to do?" Sherlock felt the same pain in his chest he had this morning and abruptly turned to face his brother.

"Well, I'm fine, as you can see. It's nothing to worry about, though I doubt you did. I'm sure you have more important things to be doing." Mycroft's shoulders tensed. Sherlock recognised that particular stance, and prepared himself for a verbal battle.

"I don't think so. This has gone on quite long enough don't you think?" Sherlock snorted.

"I don't see why it's any of your concern." He bit back; Mycroft sighed and stared at Sherlock for a minute before speaking.

"John, do you think you could give me and my brother some time alone please? I think we need to have a little chat." The smile that followed indicated that he wasn't asking, and John rose from his chair. Sherlock wanted to ask him to stay, but instead he just said

"I think we're out of milk" and John smiled and shrugged on his coat.

"Try to keep the flat in one piece" he replied before shutting the door with a soft click. The two brothers were left staring at each other for quite some time, waiting for the other to speak.

"I thought you'd stopped?" Mycroft questioned. Sherlock glared.

"I don't see how it's relevant." He replied, voice emotionless. Mycroft visibly snapped.

"God damn it Sherlock, you can't keep _doing_ this!" he shouted, Sherlock laughed emptily.

"Since when was it _any_ of your _business_ what I do?" he shouted back. They'd had this argument a million times over, and yet they continued it every time.

"You're my brother; I'm supposed to look after you!" He shouted back, Sherlock sneered at this.

"Why yes, I suppose you are. Although, maybe you caught up just a little bit later than most." Sherlock's glare was icy as he faced his brother. Mycroft just glared back.

"I've always _cared_ about you Sherlock." He replied, the anger still in his voice, but softer now.

"Oh, forgive me for not noticing, it should've been so _obvious_." Mycroft sighed and looked away.

"I don't want to see you hurt yourself" he admitted quietly. Sherlock was still tense, anger coursing through his body.

"No, but its fine to watch other people hurt me, isn't it brother dearest? Is that what you came here for? To _teach me a lesson_? Is there something you think I need to learn Mycroft? Please, go ahead, teach me!" Sherlock knew he was acting irrationally, he knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to _care_. Mycroft had _failed_ him over and over, and he wasn't going to fall for it again. He wasn't going to let himself believe in false promises and hopes any more, he'd decided that long ago.

"For god's sake Sherlock, who do you think I am? I've never laid a finger on you in my life! And I'm not going to start now!" Mycroft was just as angry now. It occurred to Sherlock momentarily that he'd _hurt_ his brother, but he couldn't care less. God knows Mycroft had caused him so much hurt in the past that Sherlock doubted his brother felt even a tenth of what he'd felt in his life time. Mycroft deserved it.

"How would I know? You were always so determined to make them _proud_ of you! You think you're so bloody perfect? Well congratulations because so do they! That's what you _wanted_ isn't it?" Sherlock snapped back at him. He wondered for a second where Mrs Hudson was, and what she would make of this if she was sat downstairs. But he didn't linger on that train of thought for long.

"Every child wants to make their parents proud Sherlock, even you." Mycroft countered. His voice was lowered now, like he was trying to diffuse the situation.

"Yes well, I never got the chance did I?" Sherlock didn't want to calm down. No matter how much his brother tried to make him. He had a right to be angry, that he was sure of.

"I know." Mycroft replied. "I know, and I'm sorry. But please Sherlock, you need to see sense, you need to stop doing this. If you're not willing to do it for me, then do it for yourself. Failing that then do it for John. Do you have _any idea_ how much you scared him last night?" Sherlock faltered slightly before replying.

"Leave John out of this, it has nothing to do with him." Mycroft looked at him sadly.

"But it does, he's involved in your life now Sherlock. Whether you like it or not he's going to worry." Sherlock clenched his teeth.

"I don't need your help Mycroft." He hissed. Mycroft smiled.

"You do, you just don't realise it." Sherlock's eyes turned cold.

"No. there was a time I needed you, but where were you Mycroft? This 'caring' that you feel for me must be some kind of new development, because it never showed when I needed you. I can survive on my own now; I don't need anyone's help." Sherlock knew the feeling that grew just before the crying started, but it rarely made it past being just that, a feeling that he pushed away. "I _needed_ you Mycroft. Where were you when I needed you? I was scared, I thought you would protect me but you _didn't_, you didn't help me. I couldn't…you didn't…. I was just a child." He broke off in a whisper, looking at the floor.

"So was I" Mycroft replied quietly.

A few seconds later the door opened to reveal a cold, slightly fearful looking John holding a bag of shopping. He looked between he brothers and a look of confusion passed over his face before he cleared his throat.

"Are you, um. Are you two okay?" he asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Fine" Both Mycroft and Sherlock spoke at once, and the surprise made them both look at each other. Mycroft gave Sherlock a small, sad smile and Sherlock nodded softly in return. John gazed at them before shaking his head.

"I'll put the milk away then" He stated before making his way to the kitchen.

The two brothers stood in the middle of the room, Sherlock looking down at the floor and Mycroft watching him somewhat remorsefully.

"I've said it before Sherlock, but truly, I'm sorry" Mycroft implored softly.

"I'm putting the kettle on, anybody want some tea?" John shouted from the kitchen.

"I'll have one" Sherlock called back.

"Mycroft?" Sherlock looked up at his brother with cold eyes.

"Mycroft was just leaving" Sherlock replied. Mycroft looked away and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well. Important business, you know how it is" Sherlock rarely saw his brother uncomfortable, but it made him feel a little accomplished when it did happen.

"Goodbye, Mycroft" Sherlock replied. Mycroft looked at his brother once more before exiting the flat, shutting the door with a soft click.

"So," John started, handing Sherlock his tea. "You two have a nice chat then?" Sherlock snorted.

"Hardly" John sighed.

"I didn't know what else to do" he replied, sitting down in his chair.

"Obviously." John noted Sherlock wasn't looking at him and sighed.

"He worries about you, you know" Sherlock bit back a scream and pulled on his hair before turning to face John.

"Next time, just leave it be." John locked eyes with him.

"There won't be a _next time_ Sherlock, and if there is I won't hesitate to call him again. For a genius, you do some really stupid things." Sherlock picked up his violin.

"You don't understand" He replied.

"You keep saying that, but I don't know what it is I'm not understanding. Maybe if you could just _tell me_, I mean, it's not like I'm your _friend_ or anything." He stated sarcastically. Sherlock just stared to play some slow, sad song that John didn't recognise and John shook his head.

He was beginning to think Sherlock Holmes was a puzzle he'd never solve.

**A/N: So, there we go, what did you think? Let me know by clicking the little review button at the bottom : ) concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**HopeCoppice**__Thank you : ) Mainly its daunting because I know how annoyed people get when you're relying on someone to finish a story, and I have exams from hell at the minute. I know full well that when I start writing I wont stop : ) I know realistically I don't have the time, but I swear I will make time because this is my favourite thing to do : ) I was so glad at how that turned out to be honest, I was trying to work out an effective way to write it and it took me forever to get that little bit, so I'm glad you liked it : ) Thank you so much for your kind comments : )

**Bookwormiie **haha thanks : ) Don't worry about feeling guilty, when I was writing it I was just thinking "ohmygodsherlocki'msosorry" over and over : ) Hope you enjoyed this chapter : ) thank you : )

**Miles2GoB4ISleep** Thank you : ) one of the biggest challenges I have is characterization because in my head it works so well, and then I write it down and its like "that's not quite right" so I spend like half an hour trying to correct it : ) I think the perspective thing is just the way I write, but mainly because I'm using this story as an exploration, of not only the characters, but also myself so it just seems important to write that way : ) Thank you very much : )

**DressLikeYerCrazy **Haha, me too : ) I often find my grammar and punctuation decreases when the subject matter becomes more intense, its just one of those things. I don't have a beta at the minute as my usual one is taking a break from fandom so I'm doing the best I can, what can I say, I'm only human : ) Thank you very much : )

**waterbaby84 **I know! : ( it was awful to write, but brilliant at the same time (I don't know if that's socially acceptable haha) Thank you : )

**KATIE **John is amazing! But also, yes the Mycroft/Sherlock dynamic is being exploited to the fullest in this story, there has to be _something _that made them that way : )

**InkQuillz** That mood was what sparked off this story! But yes, I always want to give him a cuddle anyway but I write this and its kind of like "Why am I so cruel?" : ( Thank you : )

**IlCapo** Thank you, I hope you enjoyed : )

**ongreenergrasses **I love how all your comments are one after the other so I can see the progression of emotion :') But thank you, I'm glad I'm managing to get through the emotion I'm trying to show. Child abuse makes me livid! But you're right, Sherlock is so vulnerable, he just hides it well : ) Thank you so much, I don't think I've ever been called incredible before : )

**Magical Meerkat **Thank you so much, I don't really have words to thank you, but that comment has literally made my day. I'm so sorry for breaking your heart, but then at the same time I'm not because I suppose in a way, that was my aim by writing this. If you're going to engage in a story, you have to feel for the characters, thank you for letting me know I'm doing my job well : )

**CanISay **Wow, thank you! Updates are likely to be a bit slower at the minute due to exams but I have every intention of finishing this story! Their relationship/dynamic fascinates me, which is the reason I started writing this. I feel like there _has_ to be something more to their problems than just brotherly feuding. Thank you for reviewing! : )


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay guys, as per usual I am ASTOUNDED at the response I have for this story. I don't even know what to say aside from thank you so much. Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I'm in the middle of exams so obviously they take precedence but I wrote this today when I was supposed to be revising for sociology so I thought I may as well get it typed up and out to you ASAP. It might be a bit longer between chapters until I finish my exams but than you so much for reading this! Also, any of you guys interested in Mycroft as a character and the Mycroft/Sherlock dynamic should check out this awesome post on tumblr (remove the brackets) **http:/shaddicted(.)tumblr(.)com/post/15766990375/mycroft-holmes

**As per, replies to comments are at the bottom : )**

Chapter 5

Mycroft was trying his best not to appear worried or agitated. His father was hosting a _very_ important dinner party, the kind that happened at least once a year, with the most important men in Britain sat around their dinner table. Mycroft, at 15 years old was sat at his Father's right hand side at the very head of the table, his mother to his Father's left. Sherlock was nowhere to be seen.

Mycroft knew _exactly_ where his brother was, the same place he had been since yesterday morning. The very thought of it was making Mycroft feel sick. He was doing his best to appear to be the little gentleman his Father wanted, and judging by the reaction he was getting he was doing rather well, but all he wanted was for the party to be over so he could run upstairs and find Sherlock.

"Oh yes, we're so proud of him, he's worked so hard for it." His mother spoke with a smile to one of the many guests.

"Well young man, this certainly is a most prestigious opportunity. Do you intend to pursue it?" the bearded man asked him interestedly.

"Well, I am to continue my studies at home for a little while longer, but I do hope to be leaving within the next few years or so. Definitely before my eighteenth birthday." The man was right, it _was_ a fantastic opportunity, but the idea of leaving his brother here alone made his stomach turn. He just hoped that Sherlock would learn to do what he was told, what was expected of him. He hoped that this would be enough to keep his father away.

"Splendid! Well, I daresay that we will be hearing more from you in the near future. A mind like that coupled with such ambition, well, we may even see you as Prime Minister in a decade or so!" Mycroft returned than mans smile and inclined his head politely. He had no such ambition of becoming the Prime Minister, yes he was exceptionally young to be accepted onto the Oxford University Politics course, but that didn't mean he wanted to run the country. Mycroft thought he was much more subtle than that.

Another half an hour passed excruciatingly slowly. Mycroft had been sat at the dinner table for over two hours now and was becoming increasingly worried about Sherlock. His Father had told him he could go to his brother after the dinner party, but Sherlock had been in there alone for two days now, and Mycroft didn't even know what his brother had done this time.

"Father, may I be excused? I'm afraid I'm not feeling too good" Mycroft asked politely. His Father stared at him for a moment with a calculating stare.

"Very well, the key is in the box on the mantelpiece." He replied coolly. Mycroft nodded.

"Thank you father." He replied with a small smile.

"Oh and Mycroft? Do not let him _cling_ to you. He must learn." Mycroft nodded once more before turning and leaving the room.

…

As soon as he had recovered the key, Mycroft ran up the stairs to the small room at the end of the corridor. His hands were shaking as he tried to get the key in the door; he stopped for a moment and took a breath before trying again. The lock clicked softly and Mycroft opened the door hesitantly.

"Sherlock?" He enquired quietly. The small boy was huddled in the corner of the closet, arms wrapped tightly around his knees keeping them pressed to his chest. Mycroft's stomach sank as he knelt on the cold ground in front of his brother.

"Sherlock" he whispered, laying his hand on his brother's shoulder. Sherlock flinched away and Mycroft froze. There was a second in which the two boys just stared at each other, Sherlock's terrified eyes meeting Mycroft's horrified gaze, before Sherlock let out a tiny sob and buried himself into his brothers hold.

Mycroft just sat there with his back against the wall; Sherlock huddled up crying in his arms. He remembered what his father said about not letting Sherlock cling to him, but Mycroft was not going to let go of his brother. Sherlock had been locked up in the tiny, bare storage room for two days, his father had locked his eight year old little brother in a tiny, cold, dark room for _two days_. Mycroft didn't really care what his father had told him to do, if he was going to fail at protecting Sherlock, he was at least going to comfort him.

When Sherlock's sobbing had been reduced to small tremors and sniffles, Mycroft shifted slightly and put his hand under his brother's chin. Sherlock's tiny, bruised face and scared eyes stared back at him.

"What did you do Sherlock? What could you _possibly_ have done to make him so angry?" he asked quietly. Sherlock's eyes glistened with tears.

"I…I didn't….I didn't do _anything_ My and he still… why would he do it if I hadn't done anything?" Mycroft stayed quiet for a long time, before pulling Sherlock closer and hugging him tightly.

"I don't know Sherlock." Mycroft had always believed, always wanted to believe that his father was a good man. When his Father had stared _disciplining_ his younger brother, Mycroft allowed himself to believe that was all that it was. But now, as the treatment got worse and more frequent, despite Sherlock managing to behave himself much better than he had in the past, Mycroft was starting to think that he was wrong.

"Come on Sherlock, you must be hungry. We'll get you some food and get you checked over and then you can sleep okay?" Sherlock nodded softly and Mycroft picked him up gently.

Mycroft's thoughts were racing as he sat Sherlock on the bed and called for the nurse and for someone to bring Sherlock some food. He sighed and rested his head against the wall for a moment before going back into the room. Sherlock looked tiny and lost sat in the midst of the white sheets.

"You could probably use a bath as well" He remarked, wondering how one person could manage to get so filthy. Sherlock just stared up at him.

"Thank you for getting me out of there" he muttered quietly. Mycroft smiled a little.

"It's okay, I wouldn't have left you. At least not when I had the choice. I was so _worried_ Sherlock, I'm sorry I let that happen." Sherlock shook his head.

"It's okay, he has his reasons" Mycroft sighed and dropped a kiss to the top of Sherlock's head.

"I need to go and do something, will you be okay here? The nurse should be up in a minute." Sherlock nodded again and Mycroft smiled sadly before leaving the room.

…..

Mycroft cleared his throat and righted his posture as he stood in the door way to the living room.

"Father, I need to speak to you" He said, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

"Of course son, come in." The room was lit only by the fire roaring in the fireplace, bringing a strange glow to the room decorated in oak and red velvet. His father was sat in his favourite armchair that only served to make him look all the more imposing. Mycroft stood in front of his father and took a breath before looking him in the eye.

"It's about Sherlock." He stated. His fathers eyes hardened and he gave a stiff nod to indicate Mycroft could continue. Mycroft swallowed.

"Well, I'm just… I'm worried about him. That is to say, I think maybe you're treating him too harshly." He met his father's gaze again and almost flinched at the anger held there. The room was silent aside from the crackling of the logs in the fire. Mycroft couldn't break away from his father's gaze as he stood up out of the chair.

"Let me make something clear Mycroft. You're a clever boy, you behave yourself and I treat you as I do based on these facts. Sherlock on the other hand is unruly, disrespectful and quite frankly, an embarrassment to our family name. Until he learns otherwise he will be treated as I see fit. He is _my_ son and I will decide how to raise him. Is that clear?" Mycroft nodded at the man towering over him.

"Yes father, but don't you think-" Mycroft was cut off by his Father's open hand slapping him across the face and knocking his head to the side.

"Do not make the same mistake's your brother does Mycroft. I will not stand for any disrespect." Mycroft felt the tears springing to life in his eyes, but he pushed them back.

"Yes Father. I'm sorry" His father nodded.

"This will not happen again Mycroft. Now go to bed." Mycroft shook a little as he whispered

"Yes father" and left the room.

The next morning Sherlock would ask where the bruise came from and Mycroft would just smile sadly and tell him to eat his toast.

**A/N: So, Chapter five, what did you think? Let me know by clicking the little review button at the bottom : ) concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**WeirdsBestFriend **Oh my god, what? That comment is INSANE! One of the best? Just, wow. I can't even, Thank you so, so much. I don't think I'm quite deserving of a comment like that but thank you, I will do my best to not disappoint :D

**Psychedelica** Seriously, that is amazing! I can't believe _anyone_ would go to such lengths to find this! Thank you so much :D I'm often told I have a strange writing style which, I'll admit, is probably true but thank you so much for your kind words. And I love it when people just say 'hey', its great to know you're along for the ride :D

**Feyfangirl **Thank you :D I try to put as much impact as I can into it, but it's good to know that what's in my head is getting through in the words :D

**serenity444** Well, here you go! I'm not sure whether to apologise for getting you hooked or be glad about it, but either way thanks for leaving a comment and I hope you enjoyed this chapter :D

**klester1987 **I did :D I pretty much have a plan for this story now (and possibly, maybe, no promises at all, a sequel) and I hope you're willing to see this through with me :D Thank you for reading and commenting :D

**HopeCoppice** Yes he is. But Sherlock is very hurt, he has a lot to deal with and overcome before he can ever accept an apology from Mycroft, if he ever can. Thank god we have John around hey? :D Thank you, I hope you liked this chapter too :D

**Anonymous** Ooh, a mystery reviewer :D Thank you very much, dialogue is something I struggle with and it took me a lot of tries to get to a point where I was fairly happy with it. I'm glad it turned out okay and thank you very much for reviewing.

**Miles2GoBe4ISleep **Oh man, I'm sorry for the sadness. But You captured what I'm trying to put into the characters perfectly, which makes me so happy. I can't express how amazing it is to read that you understand what I'm trying to do :D Thank you so much for your supportive comments, it's difficult to try and pull off something that is based on emotions but keep the boys in character so thank you for that :D

**TadPole11** Feelings are dangerous things are they not? I'm trying to make their relationship have some sense to it. I think Sherlock is more contemptuous of Mycroft than anything else and even though it may not be right, there has to be some context in which his behaviour is understandable. Sherlock is after all, if nothing else, a logical person. I think if he sees it as justified it would be difficult for anyone to make him see otherwise. As for reconciliation well, we'll have to see wont we :D Thank you for reading and commenting :D

**DressLikeYerCrazy** I don't mind if you don't make sense! Sherlock just makes me hurt if I think about him too much, I mean, he's so complex and misunderstood, it just hurts me, I don't know. I worried that the intensity that I viewed that scene in my head would be ruined by my incompetence at writing dialogue but apparently not. I'm sorry for making you feel that way, but thank you so much for your comments, they certainly keep me writing :D

**legi0nnaire** Wow, thank you! :D I'm trying to keep things real whilst building my own story around it and I'm glad that you think it's working! The structure is mainly due to the fact that I find it difficult to just pick back up from where I left off, but I think it works in favour of this story. Thank you so much :D

**BloodyRosie** I'm sorry, I know it's horrible D: Oh gosh I'm so cruel! But that's what this is all about really. Thank you very much for your comments :D

**Stardiva** I know, I'm trying to put some back story behind our unfortunate genius and his self destructive behaviour. I think his family would have this sort of functioning, even if it's not this extreme. The thing to keep in mind about Mycroft is that he's confused and scared himself. He doesn't know what to do, his family is definitely powerful enough to stave off any complaint from child protection and he desperately wants to make his parents proud. He's torn between two difficult choices, and of course he may be very clever and mature but he is still a child. John always saves the day :D And well, as for a confrontation, we shall have to wait and see :D thank you very much :D


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry that this has taken so long! I've been all over the place with exams and just haven't had the time at all. This chapter is pretty badly written too so sorry for that but it didn't come easily, I had to force it out of my brain. I also wrote a short one shot earlier in the week called 'The closest we'll ever be to friends' if you feel like checking out any of my other work. Thank you for all your lovely reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter even if it's not as good as it should be! Review responses are at the bottom as usual!**

**Also, do you guys think that the rating on this fic needs to be raised? Or do you think its okay as it is? Could you let me know so I can decide what's best? Thank you =)**

**Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, possibly OOC Sherlock (depending on how you look at it, don't know if that's a warning but thought I should let you know)**

Chapter 6

John eyed Sherlock warily over the edge of his cup of tea. The detective had been eating and sleeping even less than usual despite the lack of cases, and John was starting to worry. They hadn't had a case, or a _proper_ case, for at least a month now but John hadn't heard Sherlock complain of boredom at all. In fact he was fairly sure he hadn't heard him say much at all, it was quite disturbing really. John had tried to not interfere with whatever was going on in Sherlock's head, but he couldn't help slipping into his 'Doctor mode' when he noticed how thin he was getting.

"Sherlock, when was the last time you ate something?" he finally broke the silence between them, Sherlock looked up at him from his place on the sofa where he'd been sat with his head in his hands. He had that unfocused look in his eyes that John had come to realise meant the man was deep in thought and wasn't really with them for the time being.

"Irrelevant" he replied. John sighed and slammed his now empty cup on the table next to him.

"Right, I've head enough of this. I'm ordering Chinese, what do you want?" Sherlock just blinked at him.

"Nothing." John noticed the undercurrent of defiance in Sherlock's voice.

"I'll just order the usual then? I don't care what you eat, but you _are_ going to eat." John's voice left little room for argument but of course, Sherlock tried anyway.

"I'm not eating. I'm _thinking_, I need to concentrate." John laughed a little

"Well, let's see how well you can concentrate when you've starved to death! I haven't seen you eat at all in _days_ Sherlock, and you haven't eaten properly in _weeks_. Whatever you're thinking about can wait, at least for half an hour while you eat something." Sherlock frowned.

"I don't need you to interfere with-" John cut him off with a glare.

"No Sherlock, it's not interfering. It's called _caring, _and I'm doing this because I'm _worried_ about you. Just, I don't care if you don't do _anything_ for the next _year_, just _please_ eat something." Sherlock blinked owlishly up at him. John sighed and the tension visibly dropped from his shoulders. Sherlock swallowed and kept his eyes fixed on John.

"Alright" he replied quietly.

"Thank you" Sherlock just nodded.

…

"So, are you going to tell me what you're thinking about? Or is it something far beyond the realms of my comprehension?" John asked. The take out cartons were strewn around the room, but John decided they could be tidied away later; he had more important things to worry about right now, like his flatmates current state of mind.

"You probably wouldn't understand" Sherlock replied quietly, but the statement wasn't said in the way it usually was. The underlying tones of 'you're an idiot' were absent; it sounded more… sorrowful than anything. John frowned a little.

"Try me?" Sherlock just sighed.

"It's not really that important." He replied, closing his eyes and lying down on the sofa. John looked confused.

"Well, it has to have some importance, it's kept you occupied since….oh. This has something to do with Mycroft?" Sherlock didn't reply for a while, and John just waited, knowing that if he decided reply, Sherlock would do so in his own time. Eventually Sherlock sighed and started to speak.

"It's complicated…our relationship. We never really, well I mean… I know he _tried_ but… he didn't. Not really. I don't, I want to blame him. I do blame him. It's not his fault, I mean he didn't cause it but… he has to be to blame _somehow_. He blames himself, he feels guilty all the time so surely…" Sherlock broke off with a sigh and buried his head in his hands. "It's _complicated_." John frowned, he didn't know what Sherlock was referring to but it was obviously something important in one way or another. John had never heard the detective sound so confused and unsure before.

"Did… Did Mycroft do something?" John realised how vague that sounded but it was the only way he could think of phrasing the question, besides he knew that Sherlock would understand.

"It's more that he didn't do anything. Well, nothing that helped anyway." He replied, speaking very softly. John suddenly felt like he was intruding on something intensely personal. Sherlock looked so very _vulnerable,_ and John thought that either Sherlock wasn't aware of what he was doing, or that he trusted John more than John had thought.

John swallowed nervously, taking in his flatmates defensive posture before clearing his throat.

"What happened?" Sherlock raised his head and locked eyes with John, confusion showing plainly on his face.

"Nobody…nobody has ever asked me that before." He stated before frowning. John watched as Sherlock analysed him, taking in everything about his body language and matching it up to the information he already had on John stored away in his brain. He realised that Sherlock was trying to deduce if he was threat, if he could be trusted, and waited patiently for the detective to finish.

Eventually Sherlock dropped eye contact and righted his posture, John knew this was supposed to make him seem more self-assured, but it just made him look more insecure than before.

"Mycroft was the perfect son. He was exactly what my parents wanted; he was clever, reserved, bloody _sophisticated_. They were so proud of him, always. He fit right in with father's business partners, 'mummy's little gentleman.' That was important because my parents have friends in high places." It sounded more like Sherlock was thinking out loud rather than talking directly to John, but he listened anyway without interrupting. He knew how rare it was that Sherlock ever revealed anything about himself that he didn't _have_ to, so he just let him talk.

"I was the opposite. I… I was too curious, too obnoxious and insolent for my father's liking. I didn't learn to keep my deductions to myself so I inadvertently caused quite a few…unfortunate situations. Mummy was convinced that I'd grow out of it, but there was so much in my _head_ and so much that I needed to learn that I just _couldn't_ stop." John knew that side of Sherlock, the wild look he got when his mind was working overtime and his mouth was trying to keep up. He couldn't imagine Sherlock being anything other than wildly intelligent and unintentionally (or sometimes purposefully) insulting to people he barely knew. He didn't want to.

"Father thought I was being intentionally disrespectful, I wasn't I was just… that didn't matter to him though. I annoyed him too much in the end. He grew impatient of waiting for me to grow out of it and decided to teach me instead. His methods were a little…unconventional." John's mouth was dry; he hadn't noticed how quickly his heart was beating until now. He blinked several times, his mind furiously trying to compute the information he'd just received and apply it to the man in front of him. Sherlock had curled in on himself a little, and was refusing to make eye contact with anything but the floor. John swallowed a few times before taking a breath.

"Sherlock are… are you trying to tell me that your Father abused you?" Sherlock shrugged

"I suppose that's what you'd call it" John suddenly felt an overwhelming rush of emotion that he was fairly sure the other man wouldn't appreciate at all.

"And Mycroft…" Sherlock looked up at him, John could see the almost physical walls behind his eyes and it made his heart hurt a little. "Mycroft didn't do anything did he?" Sherlock tensed, and John immediately regretted asking, afraid that he'd just destroyed the small universe that they'd created for themselves in the last hour. Sherlock sighed and the tension drained out of him, he suddenly looked more tired than John had seen him in a while.

"He tried, but I suppose it was difficult for him too. I just, I don't know what to think about his role in all of this." John thought it over for a while, things about Sherlock that never made sense before were starting to fall into place. He still didn't know how to respond to the situation, he'd encountered child abuse victims before, but they were usually patients who had been passed onto people who were qualified to deal with that. Besides, John could hardly see Sherlock as a victim, he was a survivor, and John assumed he always has been.

"I'm sorry" He said quietly. Sherlock looked at him, and John thought he was about to be told that Sherlock didn't need pity. Instead Sherlock just looked him straight in the eyes

"Thank you." He replied softly, John smiled a small sad smile and moved to sit next to Sherlock on the sofa. They always watched T.V together on a Monday if they had no cases.

As John sat and listened to Sherlock shouting at some soap opera he thought it was strange that both everything and nothing at all had changed.

**A/N: Sorry, that was so badly written. I'm disappointed as to how this turned out as it's so pivotal to the story but, yeah. Sorry. Let me know what you think anyway by dropping a review, also let me know what you think about the rating, thanks guys.**

**Review responses**

**SePhoneRed** Thank you =) I agree about Sherlock, that's a very good way of putting it. I'm trying to make it somewhat plausible even if it's not entirely believable so thank you very much =)

**akisura12** Yes I've read Oedipus and I suppose it is similar =) I'm not sure if I would say Mycroft is at fault as such, because he doesn't know what to do and he's only still a child, but I understand what you mean. Thank you very much =)

**DressLikeYerCrazy** I totally understand! I do the same, fic is good because you can project your stuff onto characters and call it theirs. It helps a lot. Trying to get the emotion out from these characters is difficult (something I definitely anticipated) but thank you for letting me know its working. As for the over use of Mycroft's name, I noticed it too and it's driving me crazy but I re-wrote it several times and just couldn't get the balance, there were too many he's if I left it the other way so it ended up like that =) Thank you very much =)

**Tomgeek** Thank you, I love writing it =) Little Sherlock is always sweet ^-^ and it just seemed to make sense that Sherlock blamed Mycroft for something so I just wrote this. I'm glad you enjoy it and thank you for reviewing!

**TadPole11** In this fic canon Mycroft wasn't really abused. He was sort of manipulated in a way by his desire to make his parents proud and how they made him into a little gentleman. That's one of the reasons he's so confused, he's scared of this happening to him as well, which is perfectly understandable even if it doesn't help Sherlock much. I see their father as disliking challenges to his authority, the main reason he hits Mycroft here is as a warning, or a power play if you will. He needs to be able to control people, and that's why he treats Sherlock the way he does, because he refuses to be controlled. Thank you for your review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too =)

**I-Get-Bored** Wow, thank you so much =) I have every intention of completing this fic, I just have a lot going on at the minute with exams and uni applications so I'm falling a little behind. As for the ending, well I know exactly how I want this to end, but you shall have to wait and see =) thank you =)

**timenspace** Pre-canon is awesome and very rewarding to write! Let me know if/when you start writing as I'd love to read it =) Sherlock most definitely has trust issues and well, something must have sparked that. Thank you very much for your offer; I may take you up on that at some point! I'm good for the minute but I see a gap in this fics future which is approaching rather quickly, I'm kind of hoping I work it out before I have to worry too much =) Thank you =)

**cantsaymylastname** Well, here you go! =) I think Sherlock just can't help himself, he's so clever and we've seen what happens when he gets bored, so could you imagine him trying to suppress it? I don't think it would go down well. I also don't think he puts much consideration into the consequences of his actions when he does these things. Thank you very much =)

**anonomousangel **I know! At first I was a little wary about writing it because I wasn't sure how it would be received, but I'm glad I did now! Thank you very much, and I definitely have every intention of continuing this fic! =)

**BloodyRosie **Unfortunately some people in this world are just like that. I'm sure in his father's eyes, Sherlock did something which deserved such a punishment, but that doesn't mean anything really. Mycroft is trying, definitely, but he's young and confused and probably just as scared as Sherlock is. The father is definitely cruel, we'll have to see how things go =) thank you for reviewing =)

Wow, thank you very much =) I was wondering about the rating, I knew it needed to be higher than most things I write, but M seemed a little too high. I hoped that people could discern for themselves from the warnings but I'll ask and see =) thank you =)

**HopeCoppice** I can understand both of their sides too. Some of this is from my own experiences, never ever this bad of course but still, bad enough. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, thank you very much for reviewing! =)

**KATIE** Oh well, it was good to have a bit of a mystery for a while :D Thank you very much. I adore character development, reading it, writing it, watching it, whatever! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Sorry this one took so long =)

**stardiva** I agree, some people just aren't cut out for parenting I mean, why have children if you aren't going to look after them? Thank you very much, your anger towards their father is understandable and very much justified =)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n: Hey guys, sorry for the wait, been feeling a bit down lately and haven't really had the motivation to get this done. It might be a bit longer in between updates now because I really need to sort myself out a bit first, but I still fully intend on updating and completing this story. You're all fantastic for sticking with this and your reviews are brightening my days so please feel free to drop a comment at any time : ) Review responses are at the bottom of the page : )**

**Chapter 7 **

Mycroft had been dreading this day for the past two years. He had put it off as long as he could, but he was running out of excuses and, in the eyes of the world, had no reason to stay any longer.

He'd initially been contacted by the university at the mere age of sixteen, his academic achievements being way ahead of his years. The university had originally wanted to enrol him straight away, but his age had provided him with the perfect reason to stay at home for a while. Now he was eighteen, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that he was not going to further his education by remaining at home to study. His mother had given him several worried talks about how it was such a good opportunity and, he was still going to go wasn't he? His father had remained silent on the matter, but Mycroft saw the looks he shot his way when he thought he couldn't see. Sherlock hadn't shown any signs of acknowledgement of Mycroft's impending departure, but Mycroft wasn't stupid.

Sherlock had been withdrawing into himself for years now, ever since the time that his father had locked him away (Sherlock avoided that end of the corridor at all costs) the boy had slowly started to isolate himself from any type of interaction. Mycroft could hardly recognise the happy, curious, loud child that had been his little brother, instead Sherlock spent most of his days in silence and Mycroft was all to used to the walls behind his eyes, keeping the world out. He had no doubt that Sherlock's intelligence and curiosity remained and had yet to be satisfied, but he still worried about what had become of his brother. Despite all this, his father treated Sherlock the same way he always had, Mycroft didn't know what to make of it.

Two days before he was due to leave, Mycroft knocked on Sherlock's bedroom door. He still hadn't said anything to him and he decided that if Sherlock wasn't going to talk to him, then he would have to talk to him.

"Enter" came the reply; Mycroft rolled his eyes before opening the door slowly. Sherlock was sat curled up on the window seat reading a book, the rain was hitting the glass behind him and trailing down the pane to pool at the bottom. Mycroft thought it seemed appropriate, and inwardly sighed. He sat down on the edge of Sherlock's bed, watching his brother pretend to read as he waited for Mycroft to speak.

"I'm leaving in a few days time." He didn't know how else to begin the conversation, and watched as Sherlock turned the page slowly, despite never reading the page before it.

"I know" Mycroft sighed ad Sherlock tensed a little.

"I didn't want to leave without talking to you." He admitted.

"About what?" the casual way he said the words did nothing to disguise the bite behind them; Sherlock was trying to back him into a corner.

"How do you feel about this?" Sherlock looked up over the edge of his book, eyebrows raised and a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Feel?" the amusement was clear in his voice; Mycroft couldn't help himself from smiling a little.

"Okay then, what do you think about it?" Sherlock's smile transformed into a small frown and he looked away. There was silence for a while, until Sherlock looked back up meeting Mycroft's eyes.

"I'd ask you not to leave, but you'd go anyway." He replied in a small voice. Mycroft

could hear the implied _"I'm scared, don't leave me"_ in the carefully chosen words and it sent a stabbing pain through his chest.

"I've tried to stay for as long as possible, but I have to leave at some point Sherlock. Mummy and Father are becoming concerned. It's not like I'm going away forever, I will be back." Mycroft wasn't sure if the justification was for Sherlock's benefit or his own.

"Yes, but you wont be here when I need you" Sherlock hissed, Mycroft saw the tears he was furiously trying to blink back before hiding behind his book. He stood and moved to sit next to his brother.

Sherlock was sat in the corner of the seat, leaning on the wall, Mycroft reached out and gently took the book from his grasp, being sure to mark the page setting it aside and reaching for his brother. Sherlock recoiled instantly.

"_Don't touch me_" his eyes were a strange mixture of fear and defiance, shining with the tears he was refusing to cry. He reminded Mycroft of a cornered animal.

He swallowed, dropping his eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry." Sherlock stayed in his defensive state and Mycroft sighed running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Sherlock really I am. This is out of my control, it always has been. I don't know why he does this, but please don't ever imagine that I wouldn't swap places with you if I could. I just, I'm worried about leaving you here. I wish I could take you with me, I've failed to protect you and I'm sorry, but I don't have any more idea what to do about this than you do. I have to leave Sherlock, there's nothing to be done about that, but I will write, I will call and I will come back at every opportunity. If it becomes unbearable, phone me and I'll do everything I ca to get you out." Sherlock had relaxed and was now staring at the floor.

"It's already unbearable, it always has been." He whispered, more to himself than anything. Mycroft reached out and circled his hand loosely around his brother's wrist, giving him room to pull away. Sherlock looked up, but didn't pull away.

"I do love you." Mycroft told him when their eyes finally met. Sherlock sighed before moving over and curling up against Mycroft who wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

"I'll miss you." He whispered. Mycroft knew that was the closest he'd get to hearing the sentiment returned, but from Sherlock it meant the same thing.

"I'll miss you too." They sat in silence for a while, listening to the rain before Mycroft picked up the abandoned book, glancing at the cover and smiling.

"Would you like me to read to you?" When they were younger, Mycroft had always read to Sherlock, their mother being too busy to do so. It had started out as wanting his younger brother to appreciate literature and other various art forms, but had quickly become a habit. Now Sherlock was older it was more of a rare occurrence, last year on his tenth birthday, he had declared himself to be too old for such things and since then Mycroft hadn't read out loud.

"Yes" Sherlock replied softly and Mycroft smiled, turning the page back to the page he knew Sherlock hadn't read and started to read.

"_He had changed, too,-was strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost to dislike hearing music of any passionate character, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse, when he was called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he seemed to become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once or twice in some of the scientific reviews, in connection with certain curious experiments…_"

…

When Mycroft left a few days later, Sherlock watched the car drive away from his bedroom window. Mycroft saw Sherlock watching and wondered what would become of his brother now. He just hoped they were both strong enough to survive this apart.

**A/N: So, what did you think? Let me know by clicking the little review button at the bottom : ) concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**P.S. Kudos to anyone who guesses what book Sherlock was reading : )**

**Review responses**

**timenspace** You're welcome :D I always reply, reviews are very important to me and besides, it's nice to have a connection with the people reading your stories and let them know it's appreciated :D I will definitely check that out and drop you a review :D thank you for reading!

**stardiva **Thanks, believe it or not I hadn't intended to have Sherlock tell John in this chapter when I started writing, but it kind of ended up coming out like that anyway! I felt it was badly written because it was unplanned and I didn't really feel the connection to it that I have with the other chapters, but thank you very much! :D

**Ailis1976** thanks :D I've said it before and I'll say it again, the most difficult thing about this story is that it's so emotionally involved when the characters are not really the emotional type. I worry that I won't get it right because I know how protective people can get of the characters, and of course it's important to characterise them properly! But thank you very much; I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D

**Brit14** Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too :D

**HopeCoppice** Maybe not yay, but something to that effect =) Yeah, I think that Sherlock would be vary wary of calling it abuse, because for one the way he was treated in his mind has a plausible explanation because to him it was disciplinary action even if he knows it was wrong. Also using a term like abuse would put him in a position of having to re evaluate his entire life. I think naming it would be something he'd avoid because he doesn't want other people to pity him or see him as a victim, and also because it opens up a whole new world of 'if this hadn't of happened to me what would I be like?' type of thinking which he wouldn't like at all. Thank you very much, and sorry for the over analyzing of my own characters :'D

**BloodyRosie** I imagine it was difficult for him to have somebody know, but if anyone is the person to tell its John! It might get better, but it has to get worse before it can sometimes. Thank you for reviewing :D

Thank you very much :D it is something I have considered changing but I'm hoping that people can discern for themselves what they want to read, it may change for future chapters though. I guess you're right about the OOC thing, I'm just paranoid haha :D Thank you very much for reviewing!

**Feyfangirl** thank you! I did worry a lot about getting the right balance of emotion and Sherlockness (if you get what I mean) but thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D

**madTARDIStraveller **I would _love_ a little Sherlock! He would be so adorable ^^ I'm so sorry for making you upset! But then at the same time I'm not because that's the point haha :D but thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**crawlcarrymethrough **I have a chapter plan set out for this story, so I'm not telling if there is a confrontation or not! :P thank you very much for your review, I always pictured in my head that Sherlock was home schooled rather than anything else, I'm not sure why, but also I thought there was abuse so in my head canon it couldn't be other children :D thank you very much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**j-mercuryuk **Oh wow, you really made me smile, thank you! Sherlock is hard to write about emotionally, but it's very rewarding when you get it right! Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter :D

**Amelia **You have better English than most people I know, I wouldn't have known if you hadn't of said :D Switzerland? Wow, that's so awesome! Thank you very much! I'm sorry fir the sadness but I'm a h/c writer at heart and most things I wrote come out that way :D Thank you so much! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: Hey guys! Sorry for such a long wait, I've had a lot to be dealing with so I just haven't had the time to be writing. That said, here it is! I'm not too proud of this one, but it's the best I've got right now and I think it turned out okayish. Well doe to those of you who recognised the book from the last chapter, it was in fact Dorian Gray =) Also, I am 9 reviews away form 100 reviews which is simply AMAZING! I didn't really expect anyone to stick with this story so thank you guys so much, really. My 100th reviewer will get a shout out in the next chapter just because its such a landmark for me =) Thank you so much for your continued support and I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Small shout out to a fic that caught my eye, if you're all enjoying this fic (which I hope you are) then check out Futility by Katherine Moonhawk here: (http:/)www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/7824267/1/Futility (remove the brackets) which deals with similar issues to the ones found here, and I think it's pretty awesome! (If you do check it out, please be sure to drop her a review as they're what keep most people writing!)**

**Warning! Angst ahead! (Lots of it too)**

Chapter 8

John gets the text when he's in Tesco, he assumes its Sherlock complaining about milk, or tea or various body parts, so when he actually reads the message he's a little taken aback.

_Come back, now._

_-MH_

The message left no room for argument, and John found himself abandoning his shopping and heading home instead. His mind was on overdrive, running through various reasons as to why Mycroft would be at their flat, and why _he_ was needed there, wasn't Mycroft the whole British Government? John was almost certain that Mycroft was the ultimate power in the British political hierarchy. He was also certain that Sherlock and Mycroft avoided each other as much as possible, so why Mycroft would voluntarily turn up at 221B was something John didn't particularly want to consider.

Mrs Hudson was stood at the bottom of the stairs staring up them to the flat above. She turned when John closed the door.

"I don't know what gotten into them, but they're at it again. I didn't know what to do, they've been fighting terribly but it's gone awfully quiet up there." She looked back up the stairs and then back to John.

"Don't worry Mrs Hudson; I'm sure it's nothing too bad. I'll go and see what's going on." He smiled at her, glancing up the stairs to the door. She put her hand on his arm.

"You be careful dear, you know how they get." She spared him another look before walking back into her flat calling

"I'll just put some tea on" over her shoulder.

John smiled after her and shook his head before climbing the stairs. It was scarily quiet and John was beginning to wonder if he would find two bodies when he opened the door. He took a breath and steadied himself before reaching for the handle.

John didn't know what to think when he opened the door. Mycroft was stood leaning on his umbrella near the window, a fairly fresh bruise forming on his face, but looking as impeccable and imposing as ever. Sherlock however was sat in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. John could see the bruising forming on his knuckles and, well you didn't have to be a consulting detective to work that one out.

For a few minutes the only sound in the room was that of Sherlock's erratic breathing. He sounded, John thought for one strange moment, like he was fighting the urge to burst into tears. Or he could just be trying to calm himself from the storm that had clearly hit the flat in his absence. He took all of this in before turning back to Mycroft.

"What did you do?" Sherlock looked at John and then to Mycroft.

"You called _him_? Is there some kind of conspiracy I don't know about? If one of you can't _deal_ with me you call in the other as back up?" his voice was scathing and his gaze even worse. John swallowed and Sherlock just slammed his head back into his hands.

"John. As you can see, my brother has reacted rather, shall we say, disagreeably, to some news. I was wondering if you could make him see a little sense?" Mycroft smiled the smile that told John that he wasn't really asking.

"It's not the news I reacted to" Sherlock's reply is muffled by his hands, Mycroft looks over at him.

John looked between the two brothers before shaking his head.

"What is this all about?" he asked, Sherlock laughs a little in a rather concerning way.

"Mycroft seems to think I'm being _unreasonable_." He replies, Mycroft rolls his eyes before turning to face John.

"Our Mother died in the early hours of this morning, the funeral is set for Wednesday in two weeks time and Sherlock" he looks over to his younger brother "is refusing to go." Sherlock throws his hand up in exasperation.

"Why would I want to go to some stage show where people who don't even know her and even some who do will pretend to mourn her death? She meant _nothing_ to most of them. Why would I want to go and _watch_ while they bury her? What reason is there for me to go?" Sherlock had risen from his chair to stand facing his brother, he looked wild and John involuntarily took a step back. The sight of the two brothers staring each other down was very impressive, and somewhat deeply personal. John almost felt as if he were intruding.

"You should go because she is your _Mother_, Sherlock." Mycroft doesn't raise his voice, but the look in his eyes is terrifying. John makes a mental note to try to remain in Mycroft's good books. Sherlock just scoffs.

"Yes, she was such a caring, _motherly_ person who loved me very much." Mycroft deflated a bit.

"She did what she thought best Sherlock." His voice had taken on a slightly pleading tone that John wouldn't have picked up on if he hadn't grown used to hearing it.

"And look how well that worked" Sherlock almost whispered back.

"She cried. All the time. She didn't know what to do. She tried talking to him Sherlock, she was always the one sending people to check up on you and she took bruises for you more often than you might believe." Sherlock clenched his teeth and held his gaze before turning away. John found that he had been unconsciously backing towards the door. The scene before him was so deeply intimate, so out of character for the brothers that John felt guilty for staying.

"I'll mourn her in my _own_ way. I don't need to go." His voice held the same anger it had before and Mycroft sighed.

"You should go and pay your last respects. Besides, Father will be expecting you to be there." Mycroft seemed to realise his mistake as soon as he had finished speaking. Sherlock tensed, his back turned to both of them and John felt like he should be running from the room. Instead he turned to Mycroft.

"I think you should leave" He said authoritatively. Mycroft stared back at him before nodding once and leaving, sparing a glance back at his brother before closing the door.

John let out the breath he had been holding before turning to Sherlock and assessing the situation, the flat looked like a small hurricane had hit it, papers were everywhere and the carpet was littered with unidentifiable objects. John decided that could wait, the more important problem now was Sherlock. The other man hadn't relaxed at all, hands clenched into fists at his sides; John noted he was shaking lightly and that the bruises on his knuckles were darkening considerably. He looked around the flat again before deciding what to do.

"Is it just your knuckles that are bruised?" He asked, trying not to sound hesitant. Sherlock remained silent for a moment before nodding.

"Yes" John nodded to himself.

"Right then. Sit down, I'll put some tea on and get some ice."

…

Sherlock was sat, bruised hand resting on a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel and his other hand cradling his cup of tea, John studied him over the rim of his cup. Sherlock had a vacant look in his eyes, one that John was becoming increasingly aware of recently. He took a sip of his tea before speaking.

"Are you o-"

"Yes I'm fine" Sherlock interrupted, not removing his gaze from the patterned wallpaper. John took another sip and tried again.

"You don't have to go, I'm not going to try and make you despite what Mycroft wants." Sherlock smirked a little.

"I highly doubt you'd be successful even if you did attempt it." John smiled

"God forbid somebody could ever manage to change your mind" Sherlock smiled and sipped his tea. With the tension suitably diffused, they sat in silence for a while; Sherlock sipping his tea and studying the wallpaper, and John sipping his tea and studying Sherlock. It was Sherlock who eventuality broke it.

"Do you think I should?" John blinked, slightly taken aback at the question, but sipped his tea thoughtfully.

"I think you should do whatever feels right. If you think she would have wanted you to go and you want to respect that the go. If you think it would cause more problems than it solves, then don't." Sherlock was quiet for a while before looking at John.

"What if it's both?" The expression on his face showed he clearly hadn't meant to ask the question, but John answered anyway.

"It's not for two weeks yet, you have time to decide." Sherlock mutely and John turned on the TV.

….

In the morning, when Sherlock was sat at the table looking down a microscope and John was spreading his toast with raspberry jam, Sherlock paused and John looked over at him.

"Will you come with me?" Sherlock didn't look away from what he was doing, but John felt the nervousness in his voice without having to see it.

"If that's what you want." Sherlock just nodded in reply and John smiled, making a note to let Mycroft know later.

**A/N: So, what did you think? Let me know by clicking the little review button at the bottom : ) concrit is most welcome. If you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**stardiva **Dorian Gray I'm afraid =) I did pick it because I thought it sounded a bit like our dear consulting detective though =) Mycroft has to go though I'm afraid =( everything must happen for a reason and this is no different. Thank you very much for your review =)

**HopeCoppice** It's something that I'm coming up to and definitely not looking forward to so I sort of ended up analysing myself in this chapter =/ Thank you for your support, it really means a lot, I'm hoping things will sort themselves out soon enough =) thank you very much.

**Tadpole11** Thank god for John Watson! Sherlock is definitely lucky to have him around. Thank you very much =)

**InkQuillz **Thank you a lot, I'm sorry for making you sad, but hey, what did you expect? :D If you think about it, they're really both being abused, just in very different ways. Mycroft is also sort of abusing himself through all the guilt he's giving himself over everything. But its very true that he cant really do much, if you think about their situation they have no power. In my head canon that's one of the reasons Mycroft worked his way to the top, so he had the power to do something. I think he has control issues =) and yes! It is Dorian Gray! Fantastic book! I thought the quote seemed to fit pretty well and I've been dying to use it for ages now =) thank you very much for your support =)

**ForeverChasingDreams** Thank you very much =) It's support from readers that keep this thing being posted so thank you =) I did notice! I notice every time but I always forget to change it xD But thank you very much for your review, I'm glad you're enjoying it =)

**Amelia** You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you class this as one of your favourites! Thank you very much! And I know, the waiting is so painful and its only been like, a month D: I want a little Sherlock that I can carry around in my pocket and cuddle and show all my friends! He is so adorable ^^ Thank you very much, and yes Dorian Gray! Such a fantastic story =)

**Feyfangirl **Thank you! Its good to know that this story is doing what I want it to, if not it would probably be a waste of time =) Thank you so much, I love to hurt my characters, I feel so bad but sometimes it's necessary for a story =/ Thank you for reviewing!

**Mima Black** Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this one too! =)

**BloodyRosie **Fearing it? I'm sorry =( I'm afraid it's not going to be good =( I always feel bad for them both in this fic, I'm so cruel! But still, thank you very much! =)

**j-mercuryuk **He is very difficult to write, especially as a child when you take into account the type of man he is, I can only hope I'm doing him justice! Thank you very much for such a detailed review, it put such a big smile on my face =) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**LinzPhantom **Thank you very much! I love writing this story, at first I was worried about it but it's had such a good response, better than I could have ever hoped for! I adore exploring their relationship, I'm glad you're enjoying it =)

**Lillikin** Don't worry about it! Honestly, I love it when people share what they think; it shows that they're connecting with the story! Also it means I get to talk about the writing of my characters =) In his completely rational mind, Sherlock probably wouldn't have admitted anything to John at all, no matter how much he trusts him. In that particular bit, Sherlock wasn't really _telling_ John so much as just talking, perhaps to himself, perhaps using John as a soundboard, who knows? (they take on a mind of their own sometimes!) I wanted to write in a way that was more detached and logical, as I imagine that's the way Sherlock goes about most things. In that bit in particular he is trying to order his thoughts and I don't think he's really paying attention to what he's saying and what is just in his head so it's less of an admittance and more of him just voicing a thought.

Sorry for ranting, and I totally don't mean it in an insulting way or anything, I love it when people point things out, just so I can explain my thought processes! Thank you very much for reviewing and letting me know what you think! :D

**aspiring author 247** Oh wow, thank you very much! I love to know who's reading so thank you so much for commenting and for adding this to your favourites! Also, plausibility is something I value so thank you for thinking that this is plausible! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! :D

**DressLikeYerCrazy **Oh its fine! I know all about lack of free time :D Thank you very much! And I always want to hug Sherlock, all the time. I really think john should hug him at some point (even if it's just for his reaction face xD) thank you for dropping a review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! =)


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Firstly, as promised, a shout out to Amelia who is my 100th reviewer! *throws confetti* seriously though guys, the reception for this fic has been astounding! Thank you all so much! Secondly, I am so, so sorry that this took so long! I can't explain why it did, but I can tell you that I'll try my best not to leave it so long in the future. Sadly, this story is nearing the end, but there may be a sequel depending on whether people want it or not and if I have time to write it.**

**This chapter is extra long because of how long it took, it also jumps later on in the timeline so please don't be confused. Also this chapter is really mean so feel free to be horrible to me in return!**

**WARNINGS: Very violent abuse, mentions of self harm and attempted suicide. Please, please, please if these things will affect you then please do not read this chapter, I don't want any of you to put yourselves in danger.**

In the days after Mycroft had left, Sherlock kept very much to himself and avoided his father as much as possible. Part of him was aware that it was only going to get worse now his brother wasn't a round to calm the man a little, but for now he was content to spend time in the library or out in the gardens, away from the places he was likely to be.

His peace lasted a total of 6 days 14 hours and 27 minutes (Sherlock had been counting) before he was dragged out of bed at two in the morning by his drunken father. Sherlock stumbled down the stairs after him, half asleep and unable to keep up. He deduced that any sudden movement was likely to leave him with a dislocated arm rendering any attempt at escape useless, and instead he settled for hoping that it wouldn't be too bad this time, he knew it was in vain.

His father flung the living room door open and threw Sherlock in. He landed in a heap on the rug, scrambling to get back on his feet before his father reached him. Sherlock stood eyes wide and fists clenched in the middle of the room. He kept his eyes fixed on his father who stared at him for a moment.

"Why is it that they take away my best son, and I am left with you?" His voice is too level Sherlock thinks and his heart rate automatically increases.

"You are a disgrace, if it wouldn't reflect badly on my character I would have disowned you years ago." Sherlock remained silent.

"I had a report back the other day from one of your teachers; she said that she couldn't stand to teach you any longer. Do you know why?" Sherlock swallowed nervously, when his father was in a blind rage in these situations it was bad enough, but when he believed he had some justification for what he was doing it was so much worse.

"No sir" His father snarled and advanced towards him causing Sherlock to back away. His back hit the wall and he looked up at his father who still towered over him.

"She said that you had been spreading rumours about her and another member of the female staff." Sherlock's eyes widened as his father took hold of his arm.

"I didn't-" he was cut off by his fathers' fist connecting with the side of his face, forcing his head sideways.

"Are you suggesting she is a _liar_?" he inhaled deeply before turning back to his father.

"It wasn't rumours, it was true." Sherlock was lifted off the wall before being slammed back into it.

"What did you SAY? Were you making those so called _observations_ again you lying little shit?" Sherlock was trembling now, he could feel the storm approaching.

"She was cheating on her husband. Her nails, the particular shade she wore on them wasn't one she would usually wear, much more suited to the style of Miss Smith. The hems round her sleeves indicated-" His father took a fistful of his son's hair and dragged his head back.

"I don't give a _fuck_ what you think you know about these people! If I _tell_ you not to do something, you do not do it. Is that understood?" Sherlock closed his eyes.

"But they need to know." His father's grip loosened in shock at having his authority questioned. Sensing his chance Sherlock ran, he almost made it to the door before he was being swung back around and pressed against the unforgiving wood by his father who was holding a poker, red hot from the fire in his other hand.

"I am _sick_ of your insolence; you need to learn when to shut up. I have told you over and over again and yet you _refuse_ to learn. So I suppose I'll have to do something about it." Sherlock could feel the heat from the poker making his eyes water as his father brought it closer to his face. "Now, give me one good reason why I shouldn't silence you." Sherlock's eyes flicked between the poker and his father's face, unwilling to open his mouth to speak for fear of having his tongue burned out.

"ANSWER ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU" Sherlock was suddenly very aware of an acute burning pain spreading down his left side. He screamed in pain and tried to move away from the hot metal but his father held him still, just as Sherlock was sure he was going to pass out his father let go and he fell to the floor. Sherlock didn't move as his father replaced the poker, instead he concentrated on breathing. Every tiny movement pulled against the newly burnt skin causing him to whimper in pain, Sherlock wondered how badly it would scar, but didn't dare examine the area yet.

Sherlock's thoughts were pulled back into reality by his fathers shoe connecting with his ribs. He instantly curled into a foetal position in order to protect his more vital organs, and began to blank his mind from the oncoming attack. Sherlock had discovered long ago that offering no resistance and distracting himself from his father's words meant it hurt less, so he closed his eyes and relaxed his body into the attack.

….

In the morning Sherlock was reminded of his brother's absence by waking up on the living room floor. In circumstances like last night, Mycroft would always turn up and check him over when his father had finally left him, he would then call the family doctor if he was needed and then take him to bed. Sherlock had never woken up on the floor before. He moved his fingers experimentally and winced, identifying a broken finger he began to check himself over. It took him 20 minutes to complete his mental examination, bruising all over, bleeding on the back of his head, two broken ribs, a broken finger and fractured wrist. The burn on his side still felt red hot, and Sherlock was dreading trying to move, but he knew that he couldn't stay there forever. Gritting his teeth and inhaling sharply Sherlock attempted to sit up, resting his weight on his unbroken right hand. A sharp pain shot across his ribs and his left side felt like it had been set on fire. Sherlock trembled a little, and promptly passed out.

….

When he woke for the second time, Sherlock was in his room. All his injuries had been tended to and Sherlock looked to the window seat, expecting to see Mycroft sat there watching him worriedly. Instead his eyes rested on his mother who was staring out the window. He closed his eyes for a second, breathing in and reminding himself that Mycroft was gone now, opening his eyes he swallowed before speaking.

"Mother" He winced at how weak his voice sounded, like his vocal chords had attempted to follow his fathers' orders on his behalf. His mother walked over to his bed and kissed the top of his head. She looked down at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" She said quietly. "I hate seeing you like this, I'm trying I just-" Sherlock placed his hand over hers and she lapsed into silence. They stayed like that for a while, the silence punctuated by his mothers sniffling and Sherlock's shallow breaths.

"Well, I suppose I should go. Stay in bed dear, you'll recover sooner." She attempted a sad smile before turning and leaving the room. Sherlock found himself missing his brothers' presence. He had found it annoying before, the way Mycroft would hover around him, making sure he ate and stayed put so he'd recover. Suddenly Sherlock felt a rush of bitterness towards Mycroft, he had never had to deal with this type of treatment while he had lived here, and now he had left, supposedly with a free conscience and mostly undamaged. Sherlock resented his brother's freedom, but found himself wondering what would happen to him when he left, because Sherlock was determined that he would leave, and he wouldn't ever come back.

….

It would be three years after what Sherlock refers to in his head as "The poker incident" that Sherlock woke up to Mycroft sat on the window seat again.

Mycroft noted the change in his brother as he sat there, Sherlock had grown taller; his hair had turned into a somewhat neat mess of curls that was currently splayed across the pillow forming a halo around his head and he looked so much older than the 11 year old Mycroft had left behind. The biggest change though, the one that made Mycroft's stomach turn, and wish he'd paid more attention on his brief visits back, was what Mycroft saw when he met his brother's eyes.

As a child, Sherlocks' eyes had been alight with excitement and curiosity, anything he was thinking or feeling was expressed there, but this was something Mycroft hadn't expected.

When he met his brothers' eyes, all Mycroft saw were walls of cold steel blue. Sherlock looked at him and Mycroft found himself unable to breathe under the calculating, dead gaze of his younger brother. There were no traces of any emotion, any excitement, any _life_ left and Mycroft wondered what on earth had happened since he had left.

"Why are you here?" Sherlock asked him. His voice was bitter and scathing, Mycroft almost physically flinched.

"Why do you think?" He asked back. Sherlock just carried on staring; Mycroft sighed and fired back a cold stare of his own.

"I got a phone call from our distraught mother at 11 o'clock last night telling me that _you_ had swallowed down a handful of sleeping pills with father's best whiskey! What the hell were you thinking Sherlock?" Sherlock's eyes narrowed.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, but I'm sure you're clever enough to work it out." Mycroft shook his head incredulously.

"I saw the scars Sherlock; I'm assuming you did them yourself?" Sherlock laughed coldly.

"I hardly see what that has to do with anything." Mycroft sighed and counted to ten in his head.

"Sherlock, you're 14 for Christ sakes. You've apparently been self harming and now you've tried to _kill_ yourself. I may not know what you're thinking but you can't carry on like this." He told him quietly.

"I don't see anyone trying to stop me." Mycroft stared.

"What happened to you? You used to be so…alive" Sherlock sneered.

"Go and ask the man you call your Father" he spat out the last word like it was acid on his tongue. Mycroft winced.

"You can't do this again Sherlock. I know it's hard but you're my little brother and I do care about you." Sherlock just shook his head.

"Get out." Mycroft's eyes widened.

"But-" Sherlock cut him off.

"No, you've made yourself clear, so get out. I don't want to see you again." Mycroft stood for a moment in shock, before straightening up and heading for the door.

"I care about you." Sherlock's gaze didn't waver, and Mycroft cast one last look at his brother before leaving the room with a sigh. He picked up his suitcase and glared at his father before kissing his mother goodbye and leaving.

It wouldn't be the last time Mycroft would answer the phone to those chilling words.

"_Sherlock's tried to kill himself."_

**A/n: So, I'm sorry, I'm such a horrible person. Forgive me? Please review, if you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**stardiva** Yeah, Mycroft did slip up a little on that I guess, but the type of family they are is one that requires a certain reputation, I suppose he was trying to appeal to the side of Sherlock that could still have that need for reputation in it. There might be a confrontation, but who knows what could happen? Thank you very much for reviewing, I hope you liked this Chapter! =)

**TadPole11** It wouldn't have been that easy for Sherlock I don't think. If he were to tell someone then if you think about the amount of power and influence a family like that would have then even if they did believe him it is unlikely anything would have been done. Also with the type of person Sherlock is I would find it difficult to see him telling someone. About Sherlock hitting Mycroft, I didn't mean to write that it just seemed to go that way. I think that Sherlock has many unresolved anger issues and despite it all he is still human, in this situation there is a lot of tension and a lot of emotion (however much it is suppressed) and yes, I do think Sherlock worries about it and that's why he has such a strict handle on his emotions. I think that if he were to express anger (I'm talking entirely in terms of the story here) it would be in reaction to something based around his family and because he holds it so well the rest of the time, the resulting outburst is much more than it would be. Sherlock shouldn't still blame Mycroft for it, not at all, but a lot of the feelings that come from being abused aren't rational and I've often found that you either blame yourself, or the person who you think should have protected you. In a similar respect Mycroft feeling like he deserves it is because he never actively did anything to prevent it. The feelings that come when you've failed to protect a younger sibling are very much based around guilt. Mycroft has stated in canon that he does care, but it's also important to realise that Mycroft was in a way being abused by having to watch his brother be abused which would undoubtedly have led to him questioning himself. I think that after watching his brother go through all he has and seeing other people take care of him (like John and Mrs Hudson and I suspect Lestrade has at some point) it is understandable that he feels at least a little guilty which would lead to him feeling that Sherlock is right to blame him.

I'm so sorry for the rant, I've only just realised how much I've written XD Please don't feel that you have to agree with me, I'm just explaining why I did something (which I do love to do) and hoping it makes it easier to understand why they act in the way they do. Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope you liked this chapter too! :D

**timenspace **Haha it's fine, thank you for taking the time to review anyway : ) Thank you so much, I love writing this and I'm so astounded by how its been received! I am so so excited for that chapter! It probably won't turn out the way I want it to but in my head it's pretty awesome :D Unfortunately it is likely that it will be the last chapter though :/ thank you for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed this one too :D

**cantsaymylastname** Yeah I agree, but I just get a bit annoyed by them because I never feel any involvement with them if you know what I mean? But thank you very much for reviewing, hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**Feyfangirl** It is a very difficult situation to be in, but I'm sure they've been in many over the years : ) Thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! : )

**Katherine Moonhawk **Haha you're welcome, it's a really good piece of work : ) thank you very much, I hope you like this chapter too! : )

**aspiring author 247** haha, if it makes you sadistic what does it make me? I'm writing it! :D thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed this one too, I'm sorry it took so long : )

**Amelia** YOU'RE MY 100TH REVIEWER! *throws confetti* now that's out of the way :D Thank you very much, I do have fun writing! Especially this because of how well people have responded! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too :D

**InkQuillz **Thank you so much for such a beautiful review! I hate it when life gets in the way of writing but I'm hopefully going to have more free time so I can write some more : ) Thank you very much, I was trying to think of a way to start that wasn't all like *BAM* drama everywhere! Because I thought it would be too much so I'm glad you liked it : ) I'm astounded that anyone would consider this to be one of their favourite fics, having read some of the stuff that's out there, but thank you so so much for that, it's amazing! Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! : )

**HopeCoppice** Thnak you very much, it is a bad situation really, but a necessary one I'm afraid. Much love and hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**Equestrian 4 life** I put the sort of 'realism' down to the fact that quite a lot of what happens to Sherlock comes from personal experience or experiences from some of my friends so in that respect it is easier to write. I'm sorry for making you sad, but I am a h/c writer so it does happen! Thank you very much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**luckylupin **Thankyou very much, sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**demi **wow, I can imagine this being quite intense to read all in one go! Thank you very much, and I can see it too as sad as it is : ( thank you so much for your review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much : )

**j-mercuryuk **Thank you, I felt like John deserved to have his p.o.v explored : ) To be honest, I wasn't expecting it either, it just came out when I was writing but seemed to fit so I left it : ) I think he was doing one of two things, either he was trying to get back at Sherlock for hitting him (which I doubt) or he was trying to appeal to the side of him that still had the 'reputation is all important to this family' ingrained into him in order to get him to go. Thank you very much; I'm looking forward to writing it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! : )

**Ferz** I'm afraid it gets a bit sadder, I do feel a bit bad about it sometimes :/ Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter : )

**princessangelwings **did you read that in one go? That's amazing! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/n: Hey guys, so this is the second to last chapter, sadly this story is coming to an end. All the thanks (and there are many, you guys are awesome!) will be posted in the last chapter but for now can I just say you are all AMAZING! You seriously have no idea how much I've been looking forward to writing this chapter, and how much I loved every second of it, I hope that you will too! So, onwards!**

**Warning: Allusions to child abuse, violence, death (funeral) and BAMF! :D**

Chapter 10

A week ago, Sherlock had told John to let Mycroft know that he would be attending the funeral. John supposed that it was a matter of pride that prevented him for telling his brother himself, but john just sent the text and didn't question it.

As emotionally removed as Sherlock had tried to remain about his mother's death, John had noticed that he had being doing things that in most people would symbolise being a bit down, but in Sherlock they could only be counted as an expression of grief. John didn't really know how to help a man who claimed to have no emotions in a situation which was so emotional, so instead he just kept a closer eye on his friend, letting Mycroft know if he thought something particularly bad was going on in Sherlock's head.

Ever since the news of her death, John had wondered what Sherlock's relationship with his mother had been like. He hadn't really spoken about her on the night that he'd told John about his childhood, and John didn't want to pry, knowing how defensive the detective became over personal matters. When Sherlock finally did tell him, it was the night before the funeral, and not for the first time, John acknowledged that when Sherlock decided to talk about these things, it was best to just shut up and listen.

They were sat in the living area of the flat, John was reading the newspaper and drinking his tea and Sherlock was sat in what John referred to as his 'thinking pose' on the sofa. The silence between them was so natural that neither of them realised it had fallen until Sherlock broke it.

"My mother was a strange woman" He started quietly, still staring into space. John folded up his newspaper and set it aside, giving Sherlock his full attention.

"There were times when I thought her incredibly weak for never questioning my Father, she would just sit by and allow him to do what he saw fit. Mycroft claims that it caused her more pain than she dared admit, and I can see that now more than I could when I was younger. I often tried to blame her, but it never worked because as distant as she was, she never hid the fact that she cared. I never understood why she wouldn't do anything if she cared that much, but I suppose that it was a matter of keeping up appearances more than anything; it wouldn't do for her to question her husband you see and if there was one thing father wouldn't stand for it was disrespect." Sherlock was quiet for a while, and John waited, knowing that he hadn't finished yet.

"I suppose I respect her for holding the family together, she was in some respects an extraordinary woman, but she wasn't an extraordinary mother, from what I understand. Why am I mourning for a woman I barely knew?" John swallowed, seeing the uncharacteristic look of confusion on Sherlock's face was enough to render him speechless for a moment.

"I suppose it's because she's your mother, you have a bond with her that you can deny, but can't ignore at times like these. No matter how much you don't want to Sherlock, a part of you loves her, and you will miss her. That's just the way it is." Sherlock shook his head.

"Not for me. Emotions are ordinary, caring is ordinary, and it's a disadvantage that I have ensured I will not possess. It doesn't work like that" John sighed

"As much as it may seem it sometimes Sherlock, you're still human. Things like this will happen and I assume that after your grief has run its course, you'll go back to being your usual, uncaring self." Sherlock stared at him for a minute before smiling a little.

"Sometimes John, you almost appear intelligent." John had learned by now that this was a compliment from Sherlock and he smiled a little, picking his newspaper back up.

"You're welcome Sherlock." The detective let out a small breath of laughter, and John smiled.

…

The next morning saw John and Sherlock dressed completely in black, getting into an equally black car (obviously sent by Mycroft). Mrs Hudson had come to see them off, telling Sherlock how sorry she was to hear the news and how awful it must be. Sherlock, more subdued than usual, had accepted her words graciously and thanked her for her concern. John was slightly taken aback at his actions, but smiled when their landlady told him how nice it was that he was going too, and told her to have a nice day.

They sat in silence in the car, but John began to realise as time when on, that Sherlock was becoming more and more anxious. He watched his friend for a minute before clearing his throat.

"Are you okay?" he asked, Sherlock flinched at the sudden sound and John tried not to let his surprise show.

"Fine." He replied abruptly. John frowned.

"No you're not." He replied. Sherlock continued to stare resolutely out of the window.

"As ever John, your powers of observation are astounding, you've outdone yourself." As hard as Sherlock was trying, the words didn't quite posses the same bite of sarcasm that they usually did.

"What is it?" John asked. There was silence, to the point where John didn't think he was going to get an answer until very quietly Sherlock replied.

"I'm just not desperate for a family reunion." Before John could reply, they were pulling up to a small church with a vast graveyard, tucked away in the countryside. Sherlock sighed and John smiled resolutely.

"Shall we?" He asked. Sherlock opened the door.

"Is suppose we must."

They were greeted by Mycroft at the gate to the path; he too was dressed in black, still carrying his umbrella despite the sunny weather.

"It's good to see you Sherlock, John" he smiled one of his smiles (an expression John had never seen on another human being in his life) and Sherlock nodded in acknowledgement.

"You too Mycroft." John replied. Mycroft didn't take his gaze from his younger brother who was staring down at his shoes. Eventually he turned towards the church.

"Come, I expect we'll be starting soon."

….

The funeral was, as expected a quiet solemn affair. John could tell that many of the people in attendance were there for appearances only, he didn't see a single tear shed, or in fact any emotion shown throughout the whole ordeal. However, John wondered later what he had expected from the family of Sherlock and Mycroft, and reasoned that the lack of emotion wasn't unusual at all. After the burial they had all driven back to the family home for the wake. Sherlock had paused at the gate, and for a moment John had been sure he would refuse to enter, but he merely sighed and shook his head before carrying on.

They had been out in the grounds, making small talk with some of the guests, when John saw Sherlock's expression change, the emotion behind his eyes disappeared and he adopted a posture that John had never seen him take on before, Sherlock looked like he was preparing to flee from an impending danger. The cause of this change became apparent when John turned to see what had caught Sherlock's attention.

"Well, you turned up did you?" the voice was cold, and John could say without a doubt that the man stood in front of him was Sherlock's father. The man looked much more like Mycroft than Sherlock, and possessed a look of unquestioning dominance. John thought that even if he didn't know about the man, he would have taken an immediate dislike to him anyway.

"Father." Sherlock replied. John was surprised at the tone of his voice, it possessed none of the infliction John was used to hearing from the man. Instead, Sherlock sounded slightly timid, matching his unusually submissive posture. John thought that if he didn't know that this was Sherlock, he would never have recognised him; he suddenly felt a wave of anger towards this man whose mere presence made his friend almost unrecognisable.

"James Holmes" The man said, holding out his hand. John forced himself to smile.

"John Watson, I'm a friend of Sherlocks" The man raised his eyebrows a little, but said nothing.

"What do you do Mr Watson?" he asked.

"Doctor, actually. Army medic." Sherlock's father smiled.

"A military man like myself! Tell me Doctor, what rank do you hold?" John smiled back.

"Captain, of the fifth Northumberland Fusiliers" The other man nodded.

"And why is a well respected man such as yourself, associating with my…son?" The pause was tiny, but John heard it anyway. Sherlock had his hands clasped behind his back, staring at the floor and John made the decision to smile at the man, refusing to be intimidated.

"I'm his colleague, we share a flat." Sherlock's father failed to hide his surprise.

"Well Sherlock, it seems some people can tolerate you after all." Sherlock opened his mouth to speak, but John interrupted before he could.

"Your son is an amazing man of extraordinary talent Mr Holmes, you must be proud of him?" He smiled tightly.

"Quite." He replied curtly before turning back to Sherlock.

"I am rather surprised to see you here actually, I would have thought you would have considered it a waste of your time. Tell me, what is it you do these days?" Sherlock looked up at the man who was, surprisingly, even taller than him.

"I'm a consulting detective." John didn't like the way Sherlock sounded so unsure of himself, nor did he like the way his father smiled at him.

"A consulting detective." He repeated condescendingly. "And do you believe that to be a valuable use of your time?" he sneered.

"Yes, I do." Sherlock replied, his father laughed.

"Really? And what do you think your mother would say to that?" There was a flash of something that John didn't recognise in the detectives eyes and Sherlock looked up angrily.

"I wouldn't have any idea what her opinion would be considering you never let her have one." His tone was scathing, and John saw Sherlocks father change into the man that had terrorised his friend as a child.

"You dare to disrespect me?" John assumed he would have shouted had it be appropriate, but instead it came out as an extremely threatening whisper.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion for John. He saw Sherlock flinch, a look of sheer terror on his face for a split second before his father hit him, hard enough to send him to the ground. John felt a surge of protective fury before his hold on his anger snapped and he raised his fist as he turned to hit the man himself, only to find he had been beaten to it.

John wasn't sure where Mycroft had come from, but he watched as he punched the man in front of him, sending his father to the ground.

"I may not have been able to do much as a child, but believe that I am absolutely sincere when I say that I have more power now than you could ever comprehend. You will get one warning only, and that is that if you _ever_ lay so much as one _finger_ on my brother again, I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell. Your life will crash down around you so quickly, that you won't even have time to _blink_ before everything is gone. Do I make myself clear?" John almost backed away when he saw the fury in Mycroft's eyes. He understood the protective instinct that came with having a sibling, but he had never seen it displayed this impressively before. His father glared back at him before nodding, and turned to spit out a mouthful of blood. Satisfied, Mycroft turned his back, the expression on his face softening as he looked at his brother. Sherlock was looking at him with an expression that could only be described as awestruck. Mycroft smiled sadly and held out his hand to pull Sherlock to his feet.

"I'm afraid that was long overdue, I can only apologize for having not acted sooner." John watched as Sherlock shook his head.

"I. Um. Thank you I suppose." The astonishment still lingered in Sherlock's eyes as Mycroft nodded and turned to John.

"I suppose it would be best for you two to head home, it's been a long day. Thank you John, I apologise for interrupting your protective rage, but I'm sure you can understand that I felt the need to take that particular act upon myself." John nodded.

"Yes, well. If the opportunity arises again…" Mycroft smiled

"You'll be the first to know." John shook hands with Mycroft, who asked him to look after Sherlock, before he left with the detective.

Sherlock remained silent, staring out of the window for the entire journey back. John would have worried, but when he looked over at Sherlock, he saw the smallest hint of a smile on his face. John just smiled too.

**A/n: You have no idea how much I loved writing this! I hope you guys liked it too Please review, if you're going to flame my work then please refrain from commenting, but letting me know of any errors or how I could improve is greatly appreciated : ) Thank you**

**Review responses**

**Eldar-Melda:** Thanks, it's hard to write too. I wasn't too sure about the rating to be honest, but I do make sure to warn for it and I'm trying to keep it so the rating doesn't have to be upped. I hope that people reading are able to decide whether they want to read it or not based on the warnings given : ) Thank you for reviewing : )

**j-mercuryuk: **Thank you so much : ) I really appreciate the effort that goes into writing coherent reviews as I know how easy it is to just keysmash which, whilst its awesome to get that response, doesn't really give much for me to go on. It took me quite a while to work out how to write this chapter emotions wise as I know that making it too 'real' could overwhelm what was actually going on but I eventually found a balance I was happy with : ) I think it's really awesome that you picked up on little things, as for me they make the fic what it is and its very important to me to get the small things as well as the big things so thank you very much : ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**CharmingKarma:** wow, thank you so much! I never really considered myself talented but thank you so much for that : ) I'm sorry for the sadness, but as I say it _is _a sad fic and you being emotional lets me know I'm doing my job : ) Thank you so much for your wonderful review : )

**Bethany Rose:** Haha, welcome to my pit of sadness : ) it's always good to have new people reading, I'm glad you're enjoying it, thanks for dropping a review it means a lot : ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**linc:** Thank you! I love you too! I love all of my reviewers (and lurkers as I'm sure I have some) I'm a sadist too! I mean, I hurt him so much : ( I'm so sorry Sherlock D: thank you very much for reviewing, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**MsPringles:** Wow, thank you so much! In my head there's a load of stuff that happened that is simply too tedious and long to fit into the story ( I love to talk about it though) and it was an honest attempt to kill himself. However, it wasn't really premeditated and he obviously wasn't thinking straight, I think that he didn't factor in the possibility of somebody finding him, or maybe thought they wouldn't care enough to do anything about it. I'm sorry for making you cry (only not really :D) But thank you very much for reviewing! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**ongreenergrasses: **Haha it's fine, I'm glad you thought it worth picking up again : ) I hate child abuse too :/ Sherlock really gets it bad in this story doesn't he? : ( I recognise a lot of them now too : ) it's great to see the same people coming back and travelling through this with me, it's like a little family : ) I really wasn't happy with chapter 6 at all, but thank you very much for your kind words about it : ) His mother is quite spineless isn't she? Mycroft mentions later (I think) that she does a lot more for him than he realises, but still. I think a lot to do with her is that it's not 'proper' to question her husband in that type of family setting and so she doesn't really know what to do. I've been to many funerals too, and know just how fake people can be at them; I think it bothers Sherlock that people make the effort to fake emotion, when he can't deal with real emotion let alone insincere ones. Mycroft doesn't understand that, and that makes it even harder for Sherlock who obviously can't deal with emotion on his own, poor baby : ( Thank you so so much, reviews keep me going and you have some of the best so thank you : ) Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**Waiting To Get Out Of Here: **Thank you very much : ) I think your theory is spot on, its like he tests people relentlessly until they leave just so he can prove himself right. That's probably partly why John would puzzle him so much. I would LOVE to see Sherlock's reaction if John hugged him :D I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! : )

**Nytekit:** I think a small part of Sherlock believes he deserved it, that he can't question his Father because numerous other people have shown that they thinks something is wrong with him. In this way, it would be difficult for Sherlock to confront his father, as he is a scientific being and has 'evidence' to back up his fathers claim that there is something wrong with him (Anderson calling him a freak etc). People tend to not think rationally in these situations, so it's entirely possible that they thought if they ignored the fact that it might happen then it wouldn't. Thank you very much : ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**demi:** Thank you! I love writing it! (I'm a terrible person lol) but yes, poor Sherlock indeed! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! : )

**Uchihacest Girl: **Awkward brotherly love is the best! Feel free to glomp them, but I'm not sure how they'd react :D Mycroft does care very deeply, in his own 'Mycroft way' that only he (and maybe Sherlock) understands. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! : )

**gemstone1234: **Believe me; I'm writing it, I must be more twisted than you! : ) Thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter : )

**DressLikeYerCrazy:** I'm sorry : ( But thank you, I consider that a compliment as it lest me know I'm doing my job : ) Thank you very much, hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Ferz**: I'd never had guessed English wasn't your first language! What is your first language then, just out of interest? His mother is a bit lost and spineless, but in the type of family they are, it wouldn't be considered 'right' for her to question her husband :/ And I think of it as Sherlock was desperate to find some way to cope, especially since he has difficulty with emotions, he probably heard about it working and tried it. I expect it was the same thing with the drugs. Thank you very much, hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**stardiva**: All hail John Watson! But yes, I'm afraid Mycroft is for real :/ As a rather emotionally incapacitated family these types of situations would be difficult to handle I imagine. As for his father, well, not much to be said that isn't already expressed I suppose. Thank you for reviewing : ) I hope you liked this chapter too!

**cantsaymylastname**: Thank you, Sherlock definitely is an icy character when he wants to be! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**HopeCoppice:** Thank you : ) yeah I'm okay at the minute thanks : ) I can't say the same for Mycroft and Sherlock though : ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter too : )

**princessangelwings:** Thank you very much! It's always great to have new people, thank you so much for your lovely review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!

**Tadpole11:** thanks : ) sometimes I wish there wasn't life outside fandom, but alas. Hope you enjoyed this chapter : )


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So guys, here we have it. The end of the road. This chapter to me is considered more of an epilogue, but here it is anyway. I want to say thank you so much to anyone who has read or reviewed this story, it means a lot to know that I'm not just wasting my time. I hope you've enjoyed it and that you think I've done it justice. When I started writing this I never expected it to go this far and have so many people reading it. Although my life has never been as bad as Sherlocks in this fic, it is based on some of my life experiences, or the experiences of friends. Seeing people respond to that has been so amazing and I just want you all to know that I'm eternally thankful for you all, and your encouragement has amazed me on so many levels. And yes, a few people have asked me so I'll clarify now, I am planning a sequel. When it will be posted I'm not sure as I have a MorMor fic to write first, but it will be up hopefully in the next few months.**

**A warning about format; This chapter is split into three little sections and will probably come across a bit disjointed, however I don't apologise for that because I wanted to clear up some things, and in my head this ties it all together.**

**Also, slight OOC at the end, but it wouldn't work without it.**

**I'll shut up now and leave you to this : )**

**Epilogue**

John was making tea when Sherlock came back, he heard the door close behind the detective and sighed, he had been hoping for a bit more quiet time, but he supposed that some was better than none at all and set about making another cup.

"How did it go?" John asked, passing Sherlock his tea before sitting in his chair.

"Mycroft's diet isn't going too well" Sherlock replied, checking his phone. John shook his head.

"And?" he prompted. Sherlock looked up at him before dropping eye contact and reaching for his violin.

"As you might expect. He made comments on my intelligence, I made some about his weight, it was almost _normal_" Sherlock's disgust at the idea that anything he did could be ordinary was practically radiating through the room.

"Well, that's… that's _good_ isn't it?" John questioned. Sherlock laughed a little.

"John, I hardly think years of childhood trauma and family feuding is going to be solved over meeting for tea and cake every now and again." Sherlock was doing his best to sound as cold and distant as ever, but John knew him too well to be taken in by the act. He knew that Sherlock wanted to fix the relationship as much as Mycroft did, he was just feared the idea of expecting too much and being let down again; and whilst John didn't blame him, he thought Mycroft deserved a little more credit than that.

"So you won't be doing it again then?" John asked. He didn't want to push Sherlock too hard, but knew that if he was going to get anywhere with this, Sherlock needed to open up a little. The detective tensed before speaking.

"We're meeting again next week." Then he picked up his bow and started a quiet melody. John smiled into his tea.

"Good, that's good." Sherlock didn't reply, but John noted that whatever the detective was playing it was happier than his music had been in a long time.

…

Sherlock left home on a cold October morning, frost was covering the ground and his breath formed small white clouds that hovered around his head. His mother laid a hand on his shoulder as he stood in the driveway.

"Sherlock, please. You're too young for this, where will you go?" her eyes were full of tears, but Sherlock just held onto the straps on his backpack that held everything he was taking with him.

"I'll be fine mother, it can't be worse than staying here." He replied quietly. She smiled weakly and shook her head.

"I just want you to be safe. You're sixteen years old Sherlock, who's going to look after you?" Sherlock brushed away her tears with his thumb and smiled sadly.

"Take care of yourself Mother." He said, before turning away and walking down the drive.

Mycroft didn't know Sherlock had left until 6 months later, when he came home to find his brother's room empty, and his mother looking older than she had in years. Mycroft set about trying to find Sherlock as soon as he knew what had happened, but by then it was too late, and it would be two years before ay of them saw Sherlock again.

Mycroft secretly thought that he had never felt as scared in his life as he had in those two years.

Sherlock secretly thought that if he'd known those would be the last words he'd say to his mother, he would have picked better ones.

….

Mycroft looked at Sherlock over the rim of his teacup as his brother stared back at him. He knew how little Sherlock wanted to place belief and trust in other people, but he couldn't help thanking whatever it was that caused his brother to have a little faith in John Watson. As much as Mycroft wished otherwise, he knew that John had done a far better job of helping put Sherlock back together than Mycroft ever could've achieved on his own, he made a note to thank him at a later date.

"I'm assuming that as you initiated this meeting, you had something you wished to say?" Mycroft asked, setting his tea down on the table. Sherlock nodded in confirmation.

"Yes. I simply wish to make clear the decision I have made." He replied. Mycroft raised his eyebrows.

"Oh?" he questioned. Sherlock smiled a little.

"It would appear I've had a change of heart" Sherlock was careful to keep his tone even, determined that his brother wouldn't read anything from him. He was rewarded with a brief look of confusion that passed across his brothers' face.

"May I enquire as to what?" Mycroft sounded wary, Sherlock felt a little victorious upon hearing it.

"Yes, I simply wish to make clear to you that as of now, I have absolved you of all responsibility for what has been done, and what was not done when we were younger." Sherlock stared at his brother, hoping he would understand, but Mycroft looked confused, and this time made no attempt to hide it.

"I'm sorry?" Sherlock had never heard Mycroft sound hopeful before, but there was a first time for everything. Sherlock simply sighed, and held out his hand to Mycroft.

"I forgive you." He stated. Mycroft stared wide eyed as he took his brothers hand, Sherlock just smiled.

"Thank you" Mycroft replied, before smiling in a way Sherlock hadn't seen since they were children. There was a moment of silence before Sherlock spoke again.

"I'd skip the cake though, it might not be so forgiving." Mycroft glared at his younger brother for a second, before they both started laughing.

**A/n: So. There we have it. Please let me know what you thought by dropping a review! Loved it? Hated it? Whatever you thought. As there will be no other chapters, everyone who is on their account will get a PM reply from me at some point, and to those who remain anonymous thank you in advance. **

**Review responses **

**stardiva:** Haha, I'm glad you approve : ) I loved writing it too! In fact I've loved writing this whole thing! Thank you so much for reading ad reviewing : )

**LinzPhantom:** I've been looking forward to writing that chapter since I started this! I'm glad Mycroft finally did something too! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

**Waiting To Get Out Of Here:** Thank you so much! I loved writing BAMF!Mycroft! it was possibly my favourite scene to write in the whole story : ) I'm afraid that this is the last Chapter, but I do intend to do a sequel at some point which focuses more on John and Sherlock after all of this : ) also you will definitely be hearing from me in the form of oneshots, and probably a short MorMor fic in the near future! I like to keep myself busy : ) Thank you so much for reviewing and taking the time to read this! I hope to see you around : )

**HopeCoppice:** thank you so much for reviewing and reading this! It's lovely to read through the comments and recognise the people who are commenting, thank you so much! : )

**PsychOut96:** Thank you! I loved this chapter too : )

**Victoria of Memphis:** I don't want to finish it really, but sometimes a story just comes to its natural end and unfortunately this one ends here. I do plan on doing a sequel though so I might see you there? : ) Thank you so much for reviewing.

**Eldar-Melda:** The thing is that Sherlock's father terrorized him for years, that does have a lasting effect and it would be completely natural for Sherlock to act that way in such a situation : ) thank you very much for reviewing : )

**Katherine Moonhawk:** Ooh, I'll definitely check it out! : ) But thank you so much for such a wonderful comment! I can't believe it's finishing either to be honest, but all good things must come to an end as they say (whoever they are) : ) I really want someone to give Sherlock a cuddle : ) Thank you very much for reviewing! : )

**Tadpole11:** Well, I could hardly have Mycroft go through all of this without doing _something_ could I? : ) Thank you very much for reading and reviewing this story! It means a lot : )

**cooking-ninja18:** Thank you : ) Although I do believe that the praise should go to Mycroft for being epically awesome and all : ) Thank you very much for reading/reviewing!

**princessangelwings: **Thank you very much! And yes, Mycroft finally did something, even if it was a little late : ) Thank you for reading this story, and for your lovely reviews : )

**Erin Cumberbatch: **Thank you very much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! Although it ends here, I am planning on a sequel so its not _quite_ over : )

**Blue Element:** Thank you! At first I was unsure about how to write it, but I think it turned out quite well in the end : ) Thank you very much : )

**Sky Writes:** Thnak you very much! I've been looking forward to writing that bit about Mycroft since I started so I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was very difficult to write but I think I needed to do it, it's certainly helped me : ) thank you very much.

**j-mercuryuk:** Wow, I don't even know where to start replying to that one! It's possibly the longest review I've ever had! Thank you so so much for your fantastic reviews! I really appreciate how much detail goes into them and I'm so glad that you pick up on the little things that make it for me : ) As for the error, I had noticed but it happens due to the format change between my word document and it being posted on here. As soon as I work out how to fix it without it looking odd I'll go through and edit : ) Thank you very much, you're a wonderful reviewer and I hope I'll see you around this place : )

**Miles2GoBe4ISleep:** Thank you! I want to give them all a hug too, they're all so precious : ) Thank you very much for sticking around to read and review! It means a lot to me : )

**Uchihacest Girl:** Thank you! I loved writing it : ) I'll be sad to see it go, but thank you very much for sticking around to review and read! : )

**Basser:** Oh wow, thank you so very much for such a lovely review! I cant really think of anything to say other than thank you! I'm glad you considered this worth reading and I hope I'll see you around in the future! : )

**ongreenergrasses:** Thank you very much! Unfortunately I mean that this is where the story ends :'( however I am planning a sequel at some point! I used to do that too, before I started bookmarking fics when I started losing them : ) I'm a bit of a feminist too (I think most girls are at least a little) if she had done something though then this story wouldn't have been written : ) I have such wonderful, lovely reviewers it sometimes makes me cry a bit because even though I'm proud of this, I'm pretty sure I don't deserve some of the glowing reviews I've been given. I loved writing Mycroft in this chapter; he needed to do something at some point and this seemed the best way/thing for him to do. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! It really means a lot that you did, I hope to see you around the place : ) (also I think that was the best metaphor ever!)

**Zacha:** Thank you for taking the time to read and review it! : )

**CharmingKarma:** Thank you so very much! Thank you for taking the time to read/ review this, it means a lot, especially when the reviews are so lovely!

**the Twice-ler:** I don't think he would either, but in a situation like that I assume it's all he could think of to say. As much as I'd love to see Mycroft comforting Sherlock I don't think even I could handle writing the awkwardness of that situation! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, it means a lot : )


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